


Sometimes Mean Is What You Are

by revengeparty



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-04-22 15:32:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 28,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14311779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revengeparty/pseuds/revengeparty
Summary: Prompted drabbles that are too short to stand alone. Prompts enclosed with each chapter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re Satan.” + Janis and Regina

Janis hasn’t actually come face-to-face with Regina since she’d recounted her takedown of the queen bee in front of all of the girls in their grade. She hasn’t had the chance, really—because of the whole bus thing.

So when Janis pushes open the door to the bathroom and finds Regina carefully applying lipstick in front of the mirror, she freezes.

The sounds of the spring fling fade as the door swings shut behind her.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Regina drolls without turning, and Janis realizes she’s been staring.

Suddenly, Regina’s tube of lipstick slips through her fingers and clatters to the floor. She closes her eyes for a brief second and sighs.

Stiffly, Regina begins to crouch to the floor to attempt to retrieve it. Her neck brace doesn’t allow her to look down, she gingerly feels around on the floor for the lipstick.

It’s a pathetic sight. Three weeks ago Janis probably would have relished in it. Now, it’s just… pitiful.

“I got it,” Janis says, hurrying over and grabbing the lipstick from where it had rolled under the sink.

“Thank you,” Regina says, accepting the tube.

Janis’s eyebrows rise.  _The great Regina George, thanking me?_ she thinks. She almost voices it, but it sounded like it physically pained Regina to say it, so Janis doesn’t push it.

Glancing at herself briefly in the mirror, she sees she’s still wearing the broken crown Cady had given her.

“Hey,” Janis says softly, toying with a sequin on her jacket. “Uh, I’m really sorry. About, well, you know. Everything.”

Regina glances at her with a barely-there smirk. “It’s almost flattering,” she says with a shrug—well, as much of a shrug as she can manage. “I always knew you were obsessed with me, but you really went above and beyond.”

“You’re such a goddamn broken record,” Janis says, rolling her eyes. “Pick a new song, Regina.”

“Oh, please,” Regina says, stepping into Janis’s personal space. It makes her heart rate pick up—whether it’s from the close proximity or the evil twinkle in Regina’s eye, Janis isn’t sure.

“You spent an entire school year obsessing over me. I know you want me. You know you want me,” Regina continues. 

Before Janis can retort, Regina cups the side of Janis’s neck and kisses her.

Janis stands there dumbly for a moment, in shock.

Fleetingly, she notes how soft Regina’s lips are.

Coming back to her senses, Janis pulls away roughly and almost instinctively raises her hand, fully intending to smack Regina across the face.

Regina points to her neck brace. “I’d rethink that if I were you.”

“What the  _fuck_ , Regina?” Janis almost shouts. 

“You know, if you get rid of those hideous blond streaks,” Regina says, ignoring Janis’s question, “and you stopped dressing like a Salvation Army store threw up on you, you’d be pretty cute.”

“So—so,” Janis splutters, “what? You  _like_  me now?”

Regina gives her an almost sad half smile. “Always have.”

Janis feels like her head is going to explode. “So you  _ruined_ my life because you… what? Couldn’t handle your gay-ass crush? Decided to project your problems onto me?” 

“Hiding in plain sight,” Regina says, casually inspecting her nails.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Janis asks.

“I’m high as fuck on pain meds right now,” Regina answers. “Turns out Percocet is a kind of truth serum for me.”

“Just wait until everyone finds out that Regina George is the big, fat dyke,” Janis threatens, voice low.

Regina just laughs. “Nobody’s going to believe you.”

“You’re Satan,” Janis seethes.

“Satan’s got nothing on me, honey,” Regina says, pressing a kiss to two of her fingers and pressing them against Janis’s lips as she walks away and exits the bathroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roommates/10 years later for Janis/Regina

Janis’s relationship with Regina has always been complicated and has taken a lot of unexpected turns, but she never thought they’d be living together.

Two years ago, Janis was offered a job as an in-studio artist at a marketing agency had posted on her Facebook that she was moving to New York City she needed a place to crash while she looked for an apartment.

To her surprise, Regina had responded. She was living on the Upper West Side, also working in marketing. It made sense when Janis thought about it—Regina had managed to bend an entire school to her will. She could probably get anybody to buy anything.

Damian had been genuinely fearful at the prospect, but it had strangely worked out fine. Janis had never ended up even looking for an apartment.

She supposes that’s what happens when you’ve been out of high school for a decade. People grow up.

Well—they  _mostly_ grow up.

“Regina,” Janis says, voice tight with irritation, “did you put glitter in my moisturizer?”

Regina, lounging on the couch, looks up from her laptop. “No,” she says, but the self-satisfied smirk on her face indicates the opposite.

Janis throws her hands up in the air. “Why, Regina?”

In lieu of an answer, Regina taps on her phone for a moment before “Glitter and Be Gay” from  _Candide_  starts playing. (Janis can thank Damian for the fact that she recognizes the song.)

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Janis asks, pressing her fingers to her (sparkling) temples. "I don’t do shit like this to  _you_.”

The smirk drops off of Regina’ face. “I’m not  _gay_.”

“Aside from the fact that you literally showed up on my Tinder,” Janis says, pleased at the way Regina’s face goes red, “I  _meant_  that I don’t mess with your stuff.”

“You broke my mug,” Regina counters.

“Oh my God, that was a  _year_  ago,” Janis says exasperatedly. “Let it go.”

“It was my favorite mug!” 

“Whatever,” Janis says, rolling her eyes and turning to walk away. “You owe me a new moisturizer.”

“I already bought you one,” Regina says, resuming typing on her laptop.

Janis raises her eyebrows in surprise.

Baby steps.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would you be able to do “That’s starting to get annoying” for Janis/Regina?

Janis and Regina may have called a ceasefire at Spring Fling last year, but that doesn’t automatically make them friends.

They each hover on the periphery of the other’s social circles, linked together primarily by Cady.

It has, for some reason, been a bit of a personal crusade of Cady’s to restore Janis and Regina’s eighth-grade friendship—mostly through movie nights and study sessions.

Janis doubts very much that she and Regina will ever be friends again, but Regina seems to be making a mildly honest effort; and this, for some reason, is important to Cady.

It’s for one of these study sessions that Janis finds herself at Regina’s front door—somewhere she hasn’t been since middle school.

It looks exactly the same, but instead of the excited giddiness her middle-school self associated with spending time with Regina, Janis has a distinct feeling of impending doom.

Taking a deep breath, Janis rings the doorbell.

It takes a minute for the door to finally open, revealing Regina.

“Uh, hi,” Janis says, holding her chemistry textbook to her chest tightly.

“Hey,” Regina says coolly, standing aside for Janis to step inside the house.

“Is Cady here yet?” Janis asks, looking around the foyer with an intense feeling of déjà vu.

Regina opens her mouth to reply, but—as if on cue—both of their phones vibrate.

_**Cady Heron:**  Hey guys, sorry to cancel last minute but Aaron surprised me with Ladysmith Black Mambazo tickets!!!_

Janis looks from her phone to Regina, who is staring at her own phone while biting her lip.

“Looks like it’s just us,” Janis says awkwardly. “We can reschedule, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. I mean, unless you want to. Whatever works.” Regina fidgets with the hem of her shirt.

Janis is taken aback by how nervous Regina seems. She supposes neither of them really know how to interact with each other after everything that’s gone down between them.

“Okay,” Janis says with a shrug. “We can study for a bit.”

“Cool,” Regina says noncommittally, as if her temporary lapse in composure never happened. “We can go to my room. It’s upstairs and to the—”

“I know,” Janis cuts her off. “I’ve been here before, remember?”

Reinga stares at her for a moment—as if the Janis before her is a completely different person from the Janis that used to be her best friend—before saying, “Right.” 

Janis follows Regina upstairs to her room, which is just as pink as she remembers.

“Sit wherever,” Regina tells her disinterestedly. 

Janis plops down on the floor, pulls out her notebook, and gets to work.

* * *

Janis is engrossed in a chemistry problem when Regina’s voice cuts in.

“That’s starting to get annoying.”

Janis looks up and frowns. “What is?”

“You were tapping your pencil against your book,” Regina says, pointing to Janis’s textbook.

Janis opens her mouth, fully prepared to tell Regina to get off her dick, but stops herself. “Sorry,” she says instead, even though it does hurt her just a little bit to say it.

“It’s okay,” Regina says quietly.

Janis blinks in surprise, but turns her attention back to her homework.

Or, she tries to—it’s hard to concentrate when she can  _feel_  Regina’s eyes on the back of her head.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Janis says with a wry smile.

Regina props her chin on one hand. A scar, about three inches in length, is still noticeable on her wrist from her accident a few months ago.

“Janis,” Regina says carefully, “are you, like, okay?”

Janis stares at her for a moment. “Am  _I_  okay? Are  _you_ okay?” she asks defensively.

“No, I mean—” Regina brushes a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Are you doing okay? Are you, like, happy?”

Janis narrows her eyes. “Why do you care?”

Regina opens her mouth, then closes it. She looks down into her lap and says softly, “I just do.”

It’s the most vulnerable Janis has seen Regina since her cat died when they were in seventh grade. 

Sometimes Janis forgets that there’s a human person in there, under all the lip gloss and skin-tight denim. The Regina who was her best friend feels like a distant memory, but maybe she’s still in there somewhere.

“Um,” Janis says, clearing her throat awkwardly, “yeah, I guess. I’m doing okay.”

Regina just nods with a small, pleased smile before resuming reading her book.

It’s not an apology—not yet, at least. And Janis swore she would never be friends with Regina again, but maybe it took a bus to reset Regina’s moral compass.

Janis watches Regina absently tap a pen against her lips as she reads, and feels a familiar fondness stir deep in the pit of her stomach.

_Never_  might be too strong of a word.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret relationship Janis/Regina

Janis isn’t really sure how this whole thing started.

No, that’s not entirely true—it started as a drunken hookup at one of Christian Wiggins’s parties.

What Janis doesn’t know is why it’s continued.

Maybe it’s the secret satisfaction of knowing she now has the power to destroy Regina’s social life in the palm of her hand.

She doesn’t, partially because she knows exactly what that feels like—but also because she’s not entirely sure Regina won’t try to run her over with her obscenely large white SUV.

And maybe, as much as Janis doesn’t want to admit it, there’s a small part of her that missed her friend.

“Don’t touch my face,” Regina snaps, flicking Janis’s wrist. “I’m breaking out.”

Some parts Janis didn’t miss as much.

“Yes, your highness,” Janis says sarcastically, moving her hands back down to Regina’s hips.

It’s risky hanging out (read: making out) at school, but the last time Janis ignored Regina’s text instructing her to meet her in the projection room above the auditorium before lunch, Regina wouldn’t talk to her for two weeks.

Regina narrows her eyes, but she’s a little less intimidating with smudged lipstick and her shirt askew.

The bell rings, and Janis leans back in for a final kiss. Regina catches Janis’s bottom lip between her teeth, and Janis’s hands tighten on Regina’s hips as her knees go weak, just a little.

Regina smirks at Janis when they part, but Janis can’t help but feel a little proud as she watches Regina busying herself with fixing her shirt and her lip gloss. 

“I’ll go out first,” Janis says, picking up her backpack. 

She has a hand on the doorknob when Regina says, “Wait.”

Janis turns.

“Do you want to come over this weekend?” Regina asks, her smug smile replaced with one more genuine, albeit a bit shy. “We could watch a movie or something.”

“Uh,” Janis says, unaccustomed to Regina inviting her to engage in normal human socializing. “Sure.”

“Coolness,” Regina says. With a flip of her hair, she’s back in queen-bitch mode. 

Regina brushes past Janis, gently hip-checking her out of the way. “And  _I’ll_  go out first,” she says, kissing her fingers and flashing a peace sign at Janis before leaving.

Some things never change.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis paints Regina

Becoming reacquainted with Regina has been an interesting experience.

They’re not exactly  _friends_ —they’re both friends with Cady, so sometimes there’s overlap.

Janis is surprised that she doesn’t find Regina utterly intolerable, so when she casually mentions at lunch that she needs to paint a portrait of someone for her art class and Regina volunteers, she says yes.

Cady grins at them like she’s on an acid trip. She’s maybe a little too invested in repairing Janis and Regina’s relationship.

But that’s how Janis finds herself in the art studio during her study hall, setting up a new canvas and arranging her paints.

Regina walks in, her heels clicking on the scuffed linoleum floor. “Hey,” she says casually.

“Hi,” Janis says, suddenly nervous. She realizes she hasn’t actually been alone with Regina since middle school, not counting that one time they were at the mall and Cady got lost trying to find the bathroom for a full twenty minutes.

“You can sit there,” Janis says, point to a stool she’d set a few feet in front of her easel.

Regina sits, primly crossing her legs. “Paint me like one of your French girls,” she says, tugging her already low-cut shirt just an inch lower.

Janis chokes on the water she unfortunately happened to be drinking. “What?” she wheezes.

Regina rolls her eyes, the barest hint of a smile on her face. “Oh my god, I’m  _kidding_ ,” she says. “Chill out.”

“Whatever,” Janis grumbles, face flushing. “Just keep your clothes on.”

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” Regina asks, smirking.

“Jesus Christ,” Janis says exasperatedly. “You desperately need some new material. Can your parents hire Chris Rock?”

Regina opens her mouth to reply, but Janis cuts her off.

“Now be quiet or I’m going to paint a giant zit on your face.”

“I will burn your house to the ground with your family inside,” Regina deadpans, and Janis can’t be entirely sure she isn’t serious.

They’re mostly quiet after that. Janis paints while Regina scrolls through her phone and takes at least six selfies.

Finally, Janis sets down her brush.

“Okay, you’re free to go now,” Janis says, starting to clean up.

“Wait,” Regina says, standing up. “Let me see it.”

Janis raises her eyebrows. “Alright.”

Regina walks up behind her, examining the painting. 

“Wow,” Regina says quietly. “That’s good, Jan.”

The nickname Janis hasn’t heard since eighth grade is strangely painful. “Thanks,” Janis says. She has the urge to reach out and squeeze Regina’s hand. (She doesn’t, because she likes her hand and she’d like to keep it.)

“Can I have it?” Regina asks,

Janis frowns. “Uh, no? I need to turn this in. You know it’s for a class.”

Regina shakes her head. “No, like,  _after_ you turn it in.”

“Oh,” Janis says. “Um, I guess so.”

Regina smiles—a genuine, pleased smile. A smile Janis hasn’t seen in a long time. It makes Janis feel nostalgic and a little sad.

“Thanks,” Regina says softly. 

They stand there, just looking at each other for a long moment before Janis comes to her senses and clears her throat awkwardly.

“I should get this cleaned up,” she says, gathering up the paints.

“Yeah, I should go,” Regina says, looking at her phone. She starts to leave the room, but pauses in the doorway. “This was fun,” she says with a shy smile.

And then she’s gone. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have this idea in my head that Janis and Regina have been like mutuals online and don't realize its the other person?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to the people who have left nice comments! I'm really enjoying writing these two so I'm glad people are actually reading it.

For the record, Janis was on Tumblr before it was mainstream.

Janis joined a few years ago because she wanted a platform on which she could post her art. Also her blog was carefully crafted and aesthetic-driven in a way her life couldn’t be, and that was strangely satisfying.

Most of the art blogs she used to follow have since become nauseatingly hipster and derivative. Janis supposes they’re not much worse than Cady’s blog, which is entirely photos of lions—all of which are tagged as #lions!!

Now, Janis mostly uses to it keep in contact with the friends she’s made along the way. 

Maybe “friends” is too strong of a word—they’re mostly silent relationships, not going too much farther than reblogging each other’s art and liking personal posts.

Janis has a particular soft spot for one of her mutuals, whose bio simply lists her name as R. 

R’s blog’s aesthetic can only really be described as lipstick lesbian: it’s a pretty equal mix of fashion and photos of cute girls.

Truthfully, Janis is really here for the girls.

R, like Janis, is also a lesbian.

R sometimes posts about her desire to come out but her fear of her friends’ reactions.

Janis knows the feeling, and though she feels for R, it’s nice to not feel so alone.

On Lesbian Day of Visibility, Janis clicks her way to R’s blog, intending to wish her a good day.

She’s on her phone, so the photo hasn’t yet loaded, but Janis sees that R has posted a selfie. The caption reads, “Happy LDOV to my followers! Thank you for giving me the space to be myself.”

After a moment, the photo loads.

And Janis screams.

* * *

Regina always fixes her hair after third period in the bathroom by the science wing on the second floor. Everyone knows the ritual, and nobody dares disturb it.

But Janis fully intends on rubbing this in.

True to her schedule, Regina is in the bathroom, hair brush out, when Janis nearly bursts door.

Regina looks up, startled, before sneering. “Trying to catch me with my pants down? Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m fully clothed.”

Janis just smiles as she leans against the sinks. “You can drop the act.”

Regina frowns. “What act?” 

“You know, I never understood why you randomly decided one day in 2013 that I was a lesbian, but it all makes sense now,” Janis says, casually looking at her nails. “You were projecting.”

“In your fucking dreams,” Regina says, narrowing her eyes.

“Oh, really?” Janis pulls up the screenshot of Regina’s LDOV post. She points to the caption. “Can you read this word for me?”

All of the color drains from Regina’s face. 

“Where did you get that?” Regina demands, her voice shaking slightly.

“Turns out we’ve been following each other for quite awhile,” Janis says, flashing her phone screen, open to her blog.

“You’re a lesbian, too,” Regina hisses, taking a step toward Janis with an expression on her face that immediately makes Janis mildly fearful for her safety. “So if you tell  _anyone_ —”

“What?” Jansis interrupts, laughing slightly. “You’ll tell everyone I’m a lesbian?”

Regina seems to deflate a bit. “What do you want from me?” she asks quietly, looking at the floor.

The anxiety and vulnerability on Regina’s face reminds Janis that this is the same girl who worries that her friends will abandon her if she comes out. The girl who fears that her father won’t accept her. The girl who is scared that she’ll be shunned.

“I don’t want anything from you,” Janis says, “because I know what it’s like to be outed. I would never do that to you.”

Regina looks at Janis for a long moment, a flicker of guilt crossing her face, before stepping forward and abruptly hugging Janis. 

“Thanks,” Regina whispers.

It only lasts a few seconds, but the scent of Regina’s shampoo and perfume swirl around her. 

Regina checks her hair one last time before heading for the door as if nothing had ever happened. 

“Also,” Regina says over her shoulder, “if you unfollow me, you’re dead to me.”

Janis stares at the door long after it closes before shaking her head.

Damian’s never going to believe this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis/Regina - 10 year high school reunion

Janis used to make fun of the people who would come back to North Shore High School for their class reunions.

Now she  _is_  one of those people.

Adulthood is a weird thing.

She hasn’t seen Damian in too long, and she hasn’t seen Cady in a couple of years. 

Janis is also dying to see how poorly her classmates have aged.

Also, there’s free food  _and_  alcohol.

Janis forgot just how  _much_  Cady talks. She’s flipping through an album on her phone of the lion photos from her most recent trip to Kenya. Damian—bless him—is pretending to be interested. 

Janis had committed the heinous crime of misidentifying Cady’s favorite lion (”His name is  _Kyle_ ,” Cady huffed), so she switched to drinking and people-watching.

Gretchen Wieners still wears obscenely high heels and can’t stand still for more than two consecutive seconds, but a smile has replaced the perpetually freaked-out look she always wore in high school. She’s talking to Aaron Samuels, who somehow got into this event despite the fact that they had to both show ID and their invitation.

Janis also spots Kevin Gnapoor and Marwan Jitla in some very deep, intense conversation with Karen Smith across the room. 

Curiosity peaked, Janis stands up and starts to head over to go see what they’re talking about, but then someone taps her on the shoulder. 

“Janis?”

Janis plasters a fake smile on her face as she turns around. “Hi, Regina.”

Regina’s hair is a little shorter, and a little darker, and she’s not wearing a single article of pink clothing. But her smirk hasn’t changed one bit.

Past Regina's head, Janis sees Cady looking nervously between them. She had valiantly tried to rekindle Janis and Regina’s friendship their senior year, but they had never really made it past casual acquaintanceship.

Oh, and that one time they drunkenly hooked up at the party following the basketball team’s state championship win. (They hadn’t exactly told Cady about that.)

Regina looks her over in a way that makes Janis uncomfortable.

“It’s so nice to see you with a normal haircut for once,” Regina says.

“It’s so nice to see you’re still a bitch,” Janis shoots back, eyes narrowing.

To her surprise, Regina just laughs. “Calm down,” she says. “How are you?”

Janis squints at her. “I’m fine.”

She doesn’t hate Regina anymore; she hasn’t in a long time. It’s hard to hate someone after they literally get hit by a bus. But that doesn’t mean Janis trusts her.

Regina tucks her hands in her pockets. Then she takes them out. She crosses her arms and shifts her weight from her left foot to her right.

Is she… nervous?

“Um,” Janis says, toying with the hem of her shirt. “How are you?”

“Good, I’m good,” Regina tells her, the tension easing out of her shoulders. “I live in New York City now.”

“ _What_?” Janis says, a lot louder than she means to. She sees Gretchen’s head swivel at them from across the room. Damn that girl and her supersonic hearing. “That’s where  _I_  live.”

Regina’s eyes widen. “Wait, are you serious? What part?”

“Bushwick,” Janis answers. “You?”

“Upper West Side,” Regina says, and Janis rolls her eyes because of  _course_  she does. “We should hang out sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Janis says, surprised.

Regina makes eye contact with someone on the other side of the room and waves.

“You still hooking up with girls in the bathroom at parties?” Janis asks. It’s rude—it’s really rude—but she just  _has_  to know how this new mellow Regina fields this question.

And maybe she still hasn’t outgrown pushing Regina’s buttons. 

“No, now I bring them to my apartment,” Regina says, smirking. “Excuse me—I have to go say hi to Gretchen.”

Janis stares after her, dumbfounded.

Maybe she should hang out with Regina in New York.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during their senior year, maybe someone’s bothering Janis and Regina’s nearby?

The vast majority of the boys at North Shore are vapid dicks.

Some are cool—Janis has gotten to know Aaron and Kevin more this year, and they’re actually capable of carrying on a conversation about things other than football and how short Karen Smith’s skirt of the day is.

The rest? Useless.

So when Christian Wiggins calls out, “Hey, Janis, where did you get that jacket? Lesbians R Us?” Janis just flips him the bird and keeps walking.

 _Zero points for creativity_ , she thinks. She swears the boys are getting dumber as senior year ticks by. 

Suddenly, Janis hears a sharp “ _Hey!_ ” behind her, and nearly jumps. Turning, she sees Regina approaching Christian with long, purposeful strides, hands on her hips.

Regina’s left leg doesn’t move quite as easily as her right (because of the whole… bus thing), but people get the hell out of her way just the same.

“Christian,” Regina says with a frighteningly sweet smile, “like you have any grounds to speak on fashion choices. You think nobody notices that you wear two-inch platform sneakers to make people think you’re five-eleven. I’m pretty sure I saw someone on America’s Most Wanted wearing that same tacky, fake-gold necklace. And why do you constantly insist on wearing so much camouflage?” Regina throws her arms out wide, raising her voice. “We live in the suburbs! Who are you hiding from?”

“Why don’t you go get hit by another bus?” Christian mutters as he stalks past Regina and down the hallway.

The few people who had gathered to observe the exchange start to dissipate, but Regina is just… standing there.

Cautiously, Janis approaches her. “Hey, are you okay?” she asks.

Regina blinks a few times, seeming dazed. “Yeah,” she says, clearing her throat. “I’m fine.” Absently, she touches her fingertips to one of the marks on her neck from where the spinal halo was once attached.

“Uh, well,” Janis says, unsure what to do. “Thanks. For standing up for me.”

Regina shrugs, but Janis thinks she detects a hint of pink on Regina’s cheeks.

“It’s no big deal,” Regina says noncommittally. She tosses her hair over her shoulder and places a hand on her hip, her face relaxing back into her typical subtly superior smirk. Her momentary lapse in composure is gone, except for the way her hands are shaking slightly.

“But seriously, that jacket is hideous,” Regina says, but she’s smiling a little in a way that betrays the bite of her words.

Janis just rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Regina.”

As Regina walks away, Janis remembers Cady’s words from the first day she hung out with Regina and the Plastics: “Did you see how she chewed out that boy to save me?” At the time, Janis didn’t understand Cady’s wide-eyed awe.

Now? She gets it a little bit.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina/Janis + Cady finding out

Discretion has never been Regina’s strong suit.

Sure, she definitely doesn’t want anyone to know that she’s been intermittently hooking up with Janis Sarkisian. 

But then Janis will turn up at a party in scandalously short shorts, or toss her hair over her shoulder in a certain way, or start doing that ridiculously dorky dance she does with her hands thrown above her head, and Regina suddenly finds herself dragging Janis into the nearest empty bathroom.

Regina can’t decide which is worse: her seriously damaged impulse control or the fact that she’s actuallyattracted to someone who wears tights under shorts. 

She’ll have to save that introspection for later, because Janis is rocking a killer winged eyeliner and red lipstick. Well, she  _was_ —the lipstick is nearly gone now, smudged messily around her mouth.

Regina catches a glimpse of herself in Taylor Wedell’s bathroom mirror and sees Janis’s lipstick smeared across her lips. It sends a thrill down her spine.

The bass of the music blasting in the house reverberates with the pounding beat of Regina’s heart as Janis roughly runs her hands through Regina’s hair as she kisses down her neck.

Regina bites the inside of her cheek, trying to control her breathing, grasping at any control she has left in this situation. 

Janis has Regina backed up against the sink as she kisses her, hands starting to inch underneath Regina’s top.

It’s not a great position to be caught in.

The door opens suddenly, revealing Cady, who immediately shrieks. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Regina hisses, dragging Cady into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. 

Of fucking  _course_  they forgot to lock the door.

Regina runs the back of her hand over her mouth, trying to dispose of the evidence.

“Were you two hooking up?” Cady asks shrilly, looking positively scandalized.

“Uh, no,” Janis says, even though it’s pretty damn obvious what was transpiring.

Cady huffs. “Well, it looked like you guys were—”

 “If you speak a word of this to  _anyone_ ,” Regina says, cornering Cady against the back of the door, “I will personally go to Kenya, find your favorite lions, and—”

“Whoa, okay,” Janis cuts in, putting a hand on Regina’s shoulder. “Let’s dial it down a notch.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Cady promises, eyeing Regina warily. “I’m just confused.”

Janis shrugs. “So is Regina.”

Regina smacks her on the arm. “I am not.”

“So you’re a lesbian?” Cady asks.

“Will you just leave?” Regina half-shouts, hearing Janis laughing quietly behind her.

Cady rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She pauses with her hand on the doorknob and looks back over her shoulder. “Be nice to each other,” she adds, before exiting.

Regina and Janis stare at each other for a moment before Janis bursts out laughing.

“It’s not funny,” Regina snaps.

“It’s kind of funny,” Janis says, leaning against the counter.

“She could tell someone!” Regina says. “I can’t have people thinking I’m hooking up with  _you._ ”

Janis steps forward, forcing Regina to back against the door. She kisses Regina, slow and deliberate, her fingers tracing patterns on the skin revealed where Regina’s top had ridden up.

Regina hates the way Janis can make her knees weak in a matter of seconds.

Then it ends abruptly.

Regina’s eyes blink open. “What the fuck?” 

Janis crosses her arms. “You can’t have people thinking you’re hooking up with me,” she says, eyes wide with fake innocence. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She brushes past Regina to open the door. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Regina says, heart still racing.

Janis looks over her shoulder, smirking deviously. “Maybe next week,” she says before ducking out.

Regina  _really_  needs to develop better impulse control. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina/Janis truth or dare

Never in a million years would Janis expect to be at a party in which both Kevin Gnapoor and Regina George were in attendance, much less playing a game of truth or dare with them.

 _Unexpected_  is a good word to describe her senior year in general. 

They’re in Damian’s basement with Cady, Damian, Marwan, Tyler, Gretchen, and a handful other people. It’s extremely tame, compared to some of the blowout parties Janis had been to last year.

“Regina, truth or dare?” Cady asks.

“Dare,” Regina says without hesitation, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“I dare you… to say something nice about Janis!” Cady says. 

Everyone boos, Janis included. She thought it couldn’t get lamer than Kevin daring Cady to recite as many numbers of pi as she could. 

Cady looks offended. “Not everything is about kissing and taking your clothes off,” she grumbles.

“I vote y’all do both of those things,” Kevin interjects, and Gretchen smacks him on the shoulder.

Regina shifts in her seat. “Um,” she says, looking uncomfortable when everyone’s eyes turn to her. 

Janis crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow, maybe enjoying this a little more than she should.

“I admire how you’ve never been afraid to be yourself,” Regina finally says.

“Uh, thanks,” Janis says, and Regina looks down at her lap.

“Aww,” Cady coos, looking pleased with herself.

“Who’s next?” Damian asks.

Regina stands suddenly. “I’m going to get another drink,” she says before heading upstairs.

Nobody pays her any mind, but something about her seemed off to Janis. 

“Me too,” Janis says, following Regina.

Janis finds her leaning against the kitchen counter, staring off into space.

“Hey,” Janis says, and Regina jumps a little. “Sorry. Just. Uh. That was a nice thing to say, so… thanks.”

Janis cringes internally at how awkward she sounds. 

Regina looks at her for a moment. “Well, it’s true,” she says.

“You’re the same way,” Janis says, shrugging. “You’ve never been afraid to be yourself, either.”

Regina’s expression darkens. “Not always.”

Janis frowns. “What do you mean?”

Regina doesn’t answer for a minute, seeming to weigh something in her head.

“If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone else?” Regina asks quietly. 

“Uh, okay,” Janis says, shrugging.

Regina takes a deep breath. Then another. 

“I’m gay,” she finally whispers.

“You’re  _what_?!” Janis nearly shouts, certain she heard wrong.

“Shut up!” Regina hisses, looking panicked. 

Janis runs a hand through her hair. “Are you fucking serious?” she asks, more quietly.

“Why would I make that up?” Regina says softly, wringing her hands. 

“Why are you telling  _me_?” Janis asks, bewildered. 

“I just needed to tell someone,” Regina says. “Look, just don’t tell anyone, okay?”

Getting over the initial shock, Janis sees that Regina looks downright terrified. Her hands shake as she pushes a stray lock of hair out of her face.

“I won’t,” Janis promises. She can unpack Regina’s confession later, but right now Regina needs a friend.

After debating with herself for a moment, Janis steps forward and wraps her arms around Regina’s shoulders. Regina tenses, but relaxes into the hug after a few seconds. Janis hears Regina let out a shaky breath.

Janis steps back after a minute. 

“Are you ready to rejoin the party?” Janis asks.

Regina smiles tentatively. “Sure.”

Janis leads Regina back to the door to the basement. 

“Janis?” Regina says before they head down the stairs.

“Yeah?” Janis turns to look over her shoulder. 

“Thanks,” Regina says with a small smile.

Janis just smiles back.

Unexpected doesn’t even begin to cover senior year.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis/Regina- Jealousy

Dating Regina George sometimes is, frankly, exhausting. She’s intensely possessive, and seems to just  _know_  whenever Janis even platonically talks to other girls.

God, how did Aaron Samuels make it through this  _twice_?

Janis opens her locker, but someone immediately reaches out and slams the door shut.

“Hey!” Janis says, turning to see Regina standing there with her arms crossed.

She doesn’t look happy.

“What were you talking to Cady about?” Regina asks, stepping into Janis’s personal space. “You two looked pretty cozy.”

Janis rolls her eyes. “Something dumb Tyler Kimble said in her math class.”

Regina’s eyes narrow. “I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t have to,” Janis says, shrugging.

Regina scrunches her face in displeasure, clearly unhappy with Janis’s answer. She looks around them for a moment before dragging Janis by the wrist into a nearby empty classroom.

“Hey!” Janis says indignantly. “I need to get my chemistry textbook before—”

Regina pushes Janis up against the wall and kisses her—slowly at first, then harder, needier, before pulling back abruptly.

“What were you  _really_  talking to Cady about?” Regina asks again.

“I literally told you the entire story,” Janis says, somewhat distracted by the way Regina’s hands are resting in Janis’s back pockets. “There’s no need to be so jealous, jeez.”

“I’m not jealous,” Regina snaps, but the way her lip gloss is smeared around her mouth kind of undermines her attempt at intimidation.

“Are you fucking serious?” Janis laughs. “If you open the dictionary to the word ‘jealous,’ there would be a photo of your face.”

Regina pouts, and Janis hates that she finds it adorable.

God, what is  _happening_  to her?

Janis leans forward and kisses Regina again, cupping the back of her neck.

“Cady and I are just friends, okay?” Janis assures her when they part. “You don’t have to worry.”

“Fine,” Regina says grudgingly. “You’re still coming over tonight, right?”

“Oh, I was going to go grab dinner with Cady,” Janis says, eyes wide with fake innocence.

Regina’s jaw tightens. “Are you  _fucking_ —” 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Janis says, bursting out laughing. “I just wanted to see your reaction.”

“It’s not funny,” Regina gripes, frowning. “You’re  _mine._ ”

“No, I’m not. People don’t belong to other people,” Janis reminds her. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Whatever,” Regina says, kissing Janis one last time as the bell rings. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina goes to the same therapist as Janis

It’s weird to be here on a Wednesday.

Janis usually has therapy on Fridays, but the school musical opens on Friday, and no way in hell is she going to miss Damian’s opening night.

The Wednesday crowd is different. There are, for one thing, three separate middle-aged white women wearing the exact same North Face jacket.

Janis can’t wait to get out of the suburbs.

When she turns away from the water cooler after filling up her cup, someone pins her roughly against the wall.

“What are you doing here?” the person hisses, inches from her face. The water in Janis’s cup spills onto the floor.

It’s Regina George.

Is Janis high? She doesn’t recall smoking before coming here.

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing here, you crazy bitch?” Janis asks, pushing Regina off of her. “I’m here to see my therapist.”

Regina steps back slightly. “Oh,” she says, like she hadn’t considered that.

The white moms are looking at them in alarm. Janis gives them a fake, placating smile before dragging Regina out of the waiting room and into the hallway.

“Regina,” Janis says tersely, because they’ve come a long way in the few months since junior year ended but they’re by no means friends. “What the fuck?”

Regina crosses her arms defensively. “I thought you had, like, followed me here or something on another plot to ruin my life.”

“I promise you I’m not that interested in your life,” Janis deadpans. “What do you even need a therapist for, anyway? You’re the person who sends  _other_ people to therapy.”

“Have you ever been hit by a bus, Janis?” Regina asks tiredly. “And then had your entire grade vote the person they think pushed you in front of that bus for spring fling queen?”

Oh, right. The bus.

“That’s fair,” Janis says. Then she realizes something and bursts out laughing.

“What?” Regina demands, looking annoyed. “What’s so funny?”

“Sorry,” Janis says, trying to get her laughter under control. “It’s just gotta be really awkward for Dr. Stevens, seeing both of us.”

Regina starts to crack a smile, but then it falls off of her face. “Wait, how much shit are you talking about me?”

“My appointment’s at three,” Janis deflects, backing away. “See you tomorrow.”

She hears Regina’s indignant huff behind her as she steps back into the waiting room. She smiles at the white moms to show them she hadn’t been dragged out back and murdered, or whatever it is white middle-class people fear happens in the dark corners of the suburbs.

Man, she’s never coming back on a Wednesday.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis drunk dials/texts Regina

It’s Saturday night, and Regina is sitting in her bed watching Netflix alone.

A few months ago, this would have been unheard of. But between school, physical therapy,  _therapy_  therapy, and the fact that her social circle is kind of in flux right now, Regina will accept a night in.

Her phone begins to vibrate next to her, and she pauses her movie, assuming it’s Shane or maybe Cady checking in.

Her caller ID reads  _Janis Sarkisian_.

She never did bother to delete Janis’s number, but she’s surprised Janis didn’t, either.

Cautiously, Regina picks up the phone. “Hello?”

“HEY,” Janis says, loud enough for Regina to wince and turn the volume down on her phone.

“Uh, hey, Janis,” Regina says. “Do you need something?”

“I’m drunk,” Janis says. Then she laughs.

Regina frowns in confusion. “Did you call just to tell me that?”

“ _No_ ,” Janis says, like Regina is stupid or something. “I was doing some intra—intro—introspec—” She grunts in frustration. “ _Introspection_ , and I wanted to let you know that I forgive you.”

“Oh.” Regina toys with a loose thread on her blanket, unsure what to say. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“I know you were only projecting your own… issues onto me,” Janis continues, and Regina’s eyes widen.

“Are you alone?” Regina hisses into the phone.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry,” Janis says dismissively. “I wouldn’t out you.” Her words have some bite, the  _like you did to me_  hanging between them.

“And I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you back,” Janis adds.

Regina inhales shakily.

They’ve never talked about it, ever—how, two weeks before her thirteenth birthday, Regina kissed Janis.

And Janis pushed her away.

Regina had felt hurt, and humiliated, and so she punished Janis in the worst way possible, fearful Janis would spill her secret.

Regina hates herself for it, but she would be lying if she said that she didn’t still harbor that seventh-grade crush in the back of her mind.

“I should’ve kissed you back,” Janis says sadly, and something tightens in Regina’s chest.

“Why didn't you?” Regina asks quietly. 

“I was scared, and confused,” Janis says. “I didn’t exactly get another chance after I had changed my mind.”

“If I…” Regina pauses, debating whether she actually wants to ask this. “If I kissed you again, what would you do?”

“I guess you’ll have to find out,” Janis says coyly. She must be drunk to be flirting with Regina.

Regina smiles, but she feels strangely sad. “Tell me that when you’re sober.”

“Wait, let me write myself a note,” Janis mutters, and Regina hears muffled shuffling sounds from the line. “Okay… done.”

Regina laughs a little, a wave of nostalgia hitting her. This is the goofy Janis she remembers from when they were friends, the nutty girl she fell for so many years ago.

“For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry,” Regina says softly. 

“I know,” Janis says.

They sit in silence for a moment.

“I’ll let you go,” Regina says. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

“Mm-hm,” Janis says. “Bye.”

Regina stares at her phone for a several minutes after the call ends. Then she unpauses the movie, rather than process what the hell just happened.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis comforting Regina after a rough day at school, after the whole Cady thing

The day Regina came back after getting hit by a bus, the entire school was alight with whispers.

People stared as Regina walked down the hall—no longer with fear and admiration, however, but with pity and morbid fascination.

The entire week, Janis couldn’t get through an entire class without hearing some sort of wild rumor: that Regina died for fifteen seconds, that her head went all the way around, that they found her foot on the roof of the White Hen Pantry.

Everyone is talking about Regina, but Janis doesn’t think she’s heard Regina say two words since she came back.

Regina is quiet, and looks around self-consciously as she hobbles awkwardly down the hall.

Janis should be happy—Regina is now the outcast, the person people whisper about and stare at—but it’s just kind of sad.

Janis knows what that feels like, and now that the shoe is on the other foot, it doesn’t feel good.

So when Janis opens the door to the bathroom and sees Regina standing there crying, she doesn’t immediately turn and run in the other direction.

“Oh shit,” Janis mutters. She hasn’t seen Regina cry in… years. 

Regina hastily wipes at her eyes, turning away from Janis. “Get out,” she says weakly.

“Nice try,” Janis says, cautiously stepping closer. “Are you okay?”

Regina gives her a look. “I got hit by a bus.”

Janis rubs at the back of her neck awkwardly because,  _technically_ , it’s not her fault… but it kind of is, just a little bit.

“I got hit by a bus,” Regina repeats, “and I dropped my lip gloss and I can’t even pick it up so now I’m crying in the bathroom.” She pauses. “Is this what it’s like to be you?”

Janis’s first reflex is to tell Regina to go fuck herself, but it sounds like she’s genuinely asking—like she had never before considered how her actions had actually affected Janis.

“Uh,” Janis says, reaching under the sink to pick up the tube of lip gloss, “sometimes, I guess.” She hands it to Regina.

Regina looks at her for a long moment, seeming to search for something in Janis’s face. 

“I’m really sorry,” Regina finally says.

Janis has waited four years to hear those words, but nothing about this is vindicating.

“Me too,” Janis says softly. 

Maybe it’s the pitiful sight of Regina in that neck brace, or the way Regina is trying to blink back tears, or just an expression of humanity for someone who got  _hit by a fucking bus_ but—

Janis steps forward and wraps her arms gently around Regina’s shoulders, pulling her into a hug. 

Regina stands there stiffly. “What are you doing?” she asks, sounding mildly alarmed.

“Just let it happen, Regina,” Janis says, waiting for the last of the tension to leave Regina’s muscles.

Eventually, she does relax, and for both of their sakes, Janis ignores Regina’s ragged breathing and sniffling in her ear.

The bell rings, interrupting their moment of tranquility.

Janis steps back, and they look at each other awkwardly for a moment.

“Are you going to be okay?” Janis asks.

“Yeah,” Regina says, taking a deep breath. “I’ll be fine.”

“Want me to walk you to class?” Janis offers. 

“Sure,” Regina says shyly, smiling almost imperceptibly. 

A few people stare at them as they walk down the hallway, but Janis just flips them off.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis/Regina watch a movie and cuddle + Janis/Regina watching Jennifer's Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice comments. They really make me smile.

Getting to know Regina again has been kind of a strange experience.

This may be due in part to the fact that “getting to know” Regina again primarily involves drunk hookups at parties.

Their sober hangouts have been riddled with awkwardness, but Janis can tell that Regina is legitimately trying, and that’s all she can really ask for.

Still, Janis is grateful that they’re just watching a movie tonight, because she can only participate in idle conversation for so long before she caves into the urge to ask, “So you’ve really been a big, fat lesbian this whole time?”

Maybe it’s a little petty that Janis chooses  _Jennifer’s Body_ , but sometimes she can’t resist pushing Regina’s buttons.

Also, it totally blows Janis’s mind that Regina is a closeted lesbian but has never seen this movie.

Janis settles down next to Regina on the couch, a bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. 

Cautiously, Regina inches closer to Janis until they’re almost touching, and then stops. Her hands fidget with the hem of her top.

Janis watches her out of the corner of her eye. It’s endearing, how nervous Regina seems.

Janis closes the gap, wrapping one arm around Regina’s shoulders. Regina makes a surprised sound in the back of her throat, tensing before relaxing.

After a minute, Regina rests her head on Janis’s shoulder, letting out a soft sigh. Janis hates the way butterflies erupt in her stomach. 

Regina is absently tracking patters on Janis’s leg, but as Jennifer leans in to kiss Needy, her hand freezes.

Janis can feel Regina stiffen beside her, but she doesn’t say anything until the scene ends. In fact, Janis is pretty sure Regina stops breathing for a full two minutes. Then Regina reaches for the remote and pauses the movie.

“What?” Janis asks innocently when Regina gives her a dirty look.

“You know what,” Regina says. 

Her face is only a few inches from Janis’s, and Janis smirks at the way Regina’s eyes flick down to her lips.

“Oh, don’t act like you didn’t like it,” Janis tells her. “It’s okay to let yourself enjoy gay things, Regina.”

Regina’s face reddens. “I didn’t,” she insists stubbornly, because she refuses to admit Janis is right about anything, ever. 

Janis quirks an eyebrow. “Really?” She leans in closer, so their lips are just barely touching. “Not even a little bi—”

Regina presses forward, kissing Janis fervently. Her hand snakes around the back of Janis’s neck, pulling her closer. 

Regina swipes her tongue across the seam of Janis’s lips, once, then twice, but Janis refuses to part them, just to be a bitch. Regina grunts in frustration, fingernails curling into Janis’s skin. Janis laughs, and Regina takes the opportunity to slip her tongue into Janis’s mouth.

They finally part for air. Regina pants hard against Janis’s lips, breath ragged. 

“Play it again?” Regina breathes.

Janis bites her lip to keep from laughing and dutifully rewinds the movie, making a mental note to make Regina watch  _Carol_  next.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I pointed out how Janis only wears long sleeves so someone asked for Janis/Regina angst about Regina realizing the pain Janis has gone through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Discussion of self-harm, mention of vomit.

It turns out that Cady Heron still can’t handle her liquor.

This time, her victim is Janis—specifically, Janis’s oversized green jacket.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Cady repeats, wiping her mouth as Aaron looks on sympathetically.

Regina thanks God that they’re outside and she won’t have to explain to her mom later why someone puked on the floor.

Janis sighs, looking disappointed but not surprised. “It’s fine.”

“Come inside, we can put your jacket in the laundry,” Regina offers, waving for Janis to follow her as she heads into the house and to the laundry room.

“Do you have another jacket I can borrow?” Janis asks, sounding nervous.

Regina gives her a strange look. “It’s like 70 degrees out.”

“I’m cold,” Janis says.

It’s an obvious lie, and they both know it. But Janis looks uncomfortable, so Regina decides not to push it.

“Uh, okay, sure.” Regina shrugs. “Wait right here.”

Regina goes across the hall to her room and opens her closet. She paws through her hangers, looking for something that isn’t bright pink, bedazzled, or form-fitting. (She might be a bitch, but she’s trying not to be anymore.) Finally, in the back recesses of her closet, she finds a plain black hoodie. She heads back to the laundry room.

“Is this okay?” Regina asks.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Janis says, taking the hoodie. She looks at it, and then at Regina. “Um, do you mind?”

Regina frowns, confused. “Do I mind what?”

“Do you mind stepping out?” Janis clarifies. She’s starting to look irritated, one hand twisting in the hem of her shirt.

“Why?” Regina asks. “You’re still wearing a shirt.”

“Look, can you just do it?” Janis’s voice tremors, something Regina remembers happens when Janis gets anxious.

“What’s your problem?” Regina pushes—and, okay, she definitely could have worded that better, but Janis is acting really weird.

It’s the wrong thing to say, because Janis’s eyes harden and her jaw sets.

“Fine,” Janis spits, all but ripping off her jacket and throwing it at Regina. 

Regina jumps out of the way—because  _ew_ —and is about to snap at Janis, but then she sees them: little white scars neatly lining the insides of Janis’s arms. 

“Janis,” Regina says, feeling like someone punched her in the stomach. “When? Why?”

Janis looks at her incredulously. “Started in eighth grade,” she says, crossing her arms defensively. “I think you can guess why.”

Oh god. Oh  _god_.

Cautiously, Regina reaches out and takes one of Janis’s arms into her hands, tracing the faded lines with her fingertips. She looks up and sees Janis staring at her, eyes wide. Regina sees the pain swirling in Janis’s eyes, and notices the way Janis’s lip is quivering.

So Regina does a crazy thing: she kisses Janis’s arm. She kisses the scars, each one of them.

When she hears a sharp intake of breath, Regina hesitantly looks up.

Janis’s expression has softened, a hint of pinkness in her cheeks.

“I’m really sorry,” Regina says softly. 

Janis doesn’t say anything, instead throwing her arms around Regina. Regina stiffens in surprise, but then relaxes, absently noting how nice Janis’s hair smells.

“That was really gay,” Janis says when they part.

Regina shoves her into the dryer.

She’s still working on the whole not-being-a-bitch thing.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Janis/Regina angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Discussion of suicide

It’s not just a rumor: Regina George jumped in front of the bus.

Janis saw it happen. 

As they loaded Regina into the ambulance, Janis could see the look of acute disappointment on her face.

Janis hadn’t felt anything but hate for Regina in years, but she couldn’t sleep that night, stomach twisted in knots with guilt.

She decides to visit Regina in the hospital, and agonizes over what kind of flowers to bring and whether she should bring chocolates or a stuffed animal, just to take her mind busy.

Regina glowers at her when Janis walks in, knocking softly on the open door.

“What are you doing here?” Regina asks, sounding tired. There are dark circles under her eyes, contrasting sharply with her pale skin.

“How are you feeling?” Janis asks, sidestepping Regina’s question.

“Like I got hit by a bus,” Regina says flatly.

Janis sets down the small bouquet of flowers she’s carrying with the dozens of other bouquets, floral arrangements, stuffed animals, and candy.

“Janis, why are you here?” Regina asks again, more quietly. She looks so small and fragile in the hospital bed.

“I know you jumped in front of the bus,” Janis says softly. 

Regina’s eyes widen. “I didn’t—”

Janis holds up a hand. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

The frightened look on Regina’s face morphs into one of anger. “You should be sorry. Do you have any idea what it’s like to—”

“Yeah, actually,” Janis interrupts, “I do.” She pulls back the sleeve of her sweater and flashes the scars lining her forearm.

Regina sucks in a ragged breath, and then she does something Janis hasn’t seen her do in years: she starts to cry. It’s not pretty crying—it’s heaving, shuddering, sobbing.

“Shit,” Janis mutters under her breath, hurrying over to Regina and sitting gingerly on her bed. 

She wants to hold Regina close and rub her back like she did when they were little kids and Regina’s grandmother died, but the neck brace is kind of in her way and she doesn’t want to cause Regina any more pain. She settles for squeezing Regina’s hand instead.

“I want it to stop,” Regina chokes out. 

“Want what to stop?” Janis asks.

Regina just gestures vaguely to her head, and Janis thinks she understands what she means. She would give a huge sum of money to be able to turn her brain off sometimes.

“Hey, breathe, okay?” Janis says, taking a deep breath and gesturing for Regina to do the same.

After a few minutes, Regina has calmed down considerably, but she’s still clutching Janis’s hand like her life depends on it.

“I’m sorry,” Regina finally says.

“Me too,” Janis says, brushing a stray lock of hair out of Regina’s face.

“Have you…” Regina hesitates, biting her lip. “Have you ever tried to…?”

“Once,” Janis answers, pulling at a loose thread on the blanket. “Why do you think I got pulled out of school?”

Regina’s eyes darken with guilt. “I’m so sorry,” she says, voice shaking with emotion.

Janis laughs, but it comes out sounding forced. “Well, we’re even now.”

Regina cracks a tiny smile.

Janis squeezes Regina’s hand again. “I’m glad you’re okay. If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”

“Can you just sit with me?” Regina asks quietly, avoiding eye contact.

“Of course,” Janis says. Very carefully, she scoots herself next to Regina on the bed, taking care to not let go of Regina’s hand.

This isn’t at all how she imagined her reconciliation with Regina, but Janis is so grateful she gets to have one at all.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finds out - Janis/Regina

The boys’ locker room smells like feet and sweat.

Janis is pretty sure they’ll get in some of kind trouble for this if they’re caught, but she has some morbid curiosity to satisfy.

“You really both fit in there?” Janis asks, peering into the box that holds the North Shore lion costume. With no one in the suit, it looks like a furry puddle with the disembodied head sitting on top of it.

She makes a mental note never to show this to Cady.

“Yeah,” Regina says, reaching into the box to pick up the costume. “Wanna see?”

“Sure,” Janis says, wondering how exactly watching Regina George carefully stepping into the lion suit in her three-inch heels in the back of the boys’ locker room had become her life.

Regina strikes a power pose in the lion suit, the baggy fabric nearly sliding off of her narrow shoulders. 

“See? Plenty of space for another person,” Regina says. “Come on in.”

Janis stares at her. “Uh, gross. I don’t think so.”

Regina rolls her eyes. “They do wash this thing.”

Janis pretends to think about it. Truth be told, she’s entertained a secret fantasy of hooking up with Regina in the lion suit, but  _no one_  is allowed to know about that.

“Okay, fine,” Janis says.

It takes a few moments of shuffling around and stepping on Regina’s toes, before Janis can finally zip the costume up, but there actually is quite a bit of room in the suit.

“See?” Regina says, settling her hands on Janis’s hips. She leans in and kisses Janis, her hands moving to inch under Janis’s shirt.

The kiss deepens, and they’re both so distracted they don’t hear someone entering the locker room.

“Ah!” someone shouts, and Janis and Regina startle nearly toppling over.

“Aaron,” Regina says breathlessly, cheeks reddening.

Janis  _knew_  they shouldn’t be in here.

“What the—” Aaron runs a hand through his hair, looking downright scandalized. “ _What_?”

“Uh,” Regina says, speechless for the first time in probably her entire life.

“We just washed that thing, Regina!” Aaron nearly shouts.

“Shut  _up_ ,” Regina hisses, hastily unzipping the costume. 

“Don’t tell me to shut up,” Aaron says, more quietly. 

There’s an awkward silence as Janis and Regina step out of the costume. 

“What are you even doing in here?” Aaron asks.

Regina crosses her arms. “Janis didn’t believe that there was enough space for two people in the lion suit.”

“Oh yeah, Cady didn’t either,” Aaron says, opening his locker and pulling out a gym bag. 

Regina’s mouth falls open. “You didn’t.”

Aaron smirks. “We did.” He slings the bag over his shoulder and turns to leave. “See you later.”

Janis glances at the lion suit in disgust, feeling like she needs to take several showers. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis/Regina - Karen’s known the entire time

Everything is really two things: in eighth grade, Regina told everyone that Janis was a lesbian, but it was really because  _Regina_  is a lesbian.

Regina is  _so_  totally in love with Janis Sarkisian.

Karen had pitched this idea to Gretchen once. Gretchen had looked at her with alarm and frantically shook her head before changing the subject.

A few months ago, Karen saw Janis and Regina stumble out of a bathroom at a party at Jason Weems’s house. Regina didn’t yell at her or Gretchen for three full days after.

Ever since then, Karen has noticed that Regina has had a lot more homework than she ever had before, and couldn’t hang out with her and Gretchen as much.

Karen may be stupid, but she’s not dumb.

Maybe Regina just doesn’t know how to tell Karen and Gretchen, and that’s why she’s been hiding it. 

So Karen finds Janis in the art studio.

“Hola,” Karen says, because she’s taking Spanish 1 for the second time this year and she should probably get some practice in so she doesn’t have to take it a third time.

Janis just looks at her with a confused expression and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, sorry,” Karen apologizes. “That means ‘hello’ in Spanish.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Janis tells her, crossing her arms. “Why are you here?”

“Would you like to come to my house and watch a movie with me and Regina tonight?” Karen asks. 

“No thanks,” Janis responds immediately.

“It’s okay,” Karen assures her, “I know you’ve been  _helping_  Regina with her  _homework_.”

She goes to wink, but can’t remember if she’s supposed to close one eye or two. So she does one of each.

Janis’s eyes widen. “What?”

God, does Karen have to explain  _everything_?

“I know you’re been hooking up with Regina,” Karen says slowly. 

“What did Regina tell you?” Janis demands, looking over her shoulder to make sure no one hears them.

“Nothing,” Karen says. “I figured it out on my own.”

“You… figured it out… on your own.” Janis presses her fingers to her temples like she has a headache.

Karen nods.

“Fine, I’ll come,” Janis hisses. “Just don’t tell anybody else.”

Karen smiles brightly. “Okay.”

* * *

The first thing Karen says to Regina when she opens the door is, “I invited Janis.”

Regina’s eyes practically bug out of her head. “You did  _what_?”

“I invited Janis,” Karen repeats slowly.

“Why?” Regina demands.

“So you don’t have to sneak around with her anymore,” Karen says.

Regina’s face turns red. “What?”

“I know you guys have been hooking up,” Karen tells her. “I thought you just didn’t know how to tell me, so I invited her.”

“No, Karen,” Regina says, voice tight. “This is bad. This is a bad thing you did.”

“Oh,” Karen says sadly. “I’m sorry. Do you want me to call her and tell her not to come?”

Regina peers out the window next to the door. “Shit, she’s already here.” She turns back to Karen with a panicked look on her face. “You didn’t invite Gretchen, did you?”

Karen shakes her head.

“Thank God.” Regina takes a deep breath. “Okay. Alright. We can get through this,” she says, more to herself than to Karen.

Regina pulls the door open before Janis can ring the bell.

“Oh, uh, hi,” Janis says, looking startled.

Regina smiles, but Karen can tell it’s one of Regina’s fake smiles, the kind she gives to the inevitable freshman who asks her to spring fling. “Hey.”

“Hi, Janis!” Karen waves to her over Regina’s shoulder.

“Can I come in?” Janis asks.

Regina looks down and realizes she’s blocking the doorway. “Sorry.”

They all stand in the foyer for a minute, and although nobody is talking, Karen is grinning. It’s happening! They’re bonding!

“Should we go… watch a movie?” Janis asks. 

“Yeah,” Karen says, leading them down the hallway to the living room. “Do we want to watch  _Carol_  or  _Blue Is the Warmest Color_?” 

(She’s done her research.)

“What are those about?” Regina asks at the same Janis says, “Neither,” a little too loudly.

Regina looks at Janis quizzically.

“Just trust me,” Janis whispers. “We could watch  _Room 237_.”

Regina smacks Janis on the arm. “For the last time, we’re not watching that.”

“How about  _Pitch Perfect_?” Karen suggests. She and Regina have seen it before, but it’s an old favorite.

Regina shrugs, and Janis kind of wrinkles her nose but says, “Fine.”

They settle on the couch—Janis and Regina sit a respectable distance away from each other, Karen notices.

Karen keeps peeking over at them every few minutes, until she gets engrossed in the movie and forgets to for a good half hour.

Janis and Regina are holding hands.

Karen smiles to herself.  _It’s working_ , she thinks.

When the movie ends, Karen stands up to crack her back. She turns back around and sees Regina asleep on Janis’s shoulder. It’s kind of the cutest thing Karen’s ever seen, and she’s seen a  _lot_ of kittens.

Janis gives her a look that clearly says  _help_.

Karen presses a finger to her lips and snaps a photo. Janis flips off the camera.

It’s perfect.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What about a prompt for established Regina/Janis where Regina’s back is acting up after the bus incident and Janis helps her try to relieve some of the pain?

Regina George is a master deflector who is obsessed with never showing any signs of weakness.

Janis always knew she was a stubborn bitch, but it’s even more apparent after the bus incident.

On her first day back at school, Janis spotted Regina teetering unsteadily down the hallway in her three-inch heels, glowering at anyone who looked at her twice.

Frankly, it’s ridiculous—Regina got hit by a  _bus_  and lived—but she insists on acting like nothing ever happened.

Janis suspects Regina thought that once the halo was gone, she could just resume life as normal, but that clearly isn’t the case. Some of her motions are awkward and slow, and she winces in pain if she turns her head too sharply.

Of course, she quickly covers it up with a fake smile, but Janis knows she’s in pain.

Sitting for extended periods of time isn’t great for Regina’s back, so when she keeps shifting restlessly on the couch, huffing controlled but distressed breaths through her nose, Janis pauses the TV show they’re watching.

“Are you okay?” Janis asks. “Is your back bothering you?”

Regina stiffens. “No.”

Janis sighs. “Reg, it’s just us here. Tell me if you’re in pain so I can help.”

“Can you get my pain meds?” Regina asks after a long pause, her voice tight like she’s trying not to cry.

“Of course,” Janis says, skidding across the hardwood floor in her socks to grab the bottle from Regina’s purse. 

“Thanks,” Regina says quietly, popping one of the pills in her mouth and grabbing her water bottle from the coffee table. 

Regina’s jaw is clenched tightly, shoulders tense, and Janis feels terrible for her. God, when did she start caring so much about Regina George?

Janis gently places a hand on Regina’s shoulder. “Turn around?”

“Why? What are you doing?” Regina asks, looking at her suspiciously.

Janis rolls her eyes. “Chill out, man. I’ll massage your back.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Regina says, but she turns anyway.

“I know,” Janis says, sweeping Regina’s hair aside so she can place a kiss on the back of her neck. She hears Regina inhale sharply and smirks.

Carefully, Janis presses her thumbs into the muscles of Regina’s shoulders, moving inward. She cautiously adds more pressure as she works, not entirely convinced Regina won’t shatter into tiny pieces in her hands. 

The tension starts to ease out of Regina’s muscles and her breathing becomes more relaxed, her head tilted back slightly.

Then Regina moans.

Before Janis can stop herself, she lets out a snort of laughter. She can see Regina’s ears going red.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Regina complains, reaching behind herself awkwardly to swat in Janis’s general direction.

“I’m not,” Janis protests, trying to cover her laughter with a fake cough. 

Regina never really had to develop a thick skin, a protective layer against the bullshit normal people go through in middle and high school, and she’s become particularly self-conscious since her accident. Janis has tried to indoctrinate her into the world of normal human socializing with some light teasing, but now isn’t the time.

“I’m sorry,” Janis apologizes, hugging Regina from behind. “How’s your pain now?”

“Better,” Regina says, almost shyly. “Thank you.” 

Janis moves to sit back in her spot on the couch, when Regina turns around and frowns.

“I didn’t say stop,” Regina says. 

“Alright,” Janis says. “Think you can try and control yourself?”

Regina picks up a throw pillow and smacks Janis in the face. 

Janis concedes that she probably deserved that.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina/Janis + pining + Regina lusting over Janis and being very bad at hiding it (during the show or post show—your choice!)

In October of their senior year, Janis cuts her hair.

It’s nothing drastic; she’s still growing out the side that was shaved last year and cuts her hair to shoulder-length to make it look a little less uneven.

Regina thinks it looks good.

Actually, Regina thinks it looks  _really_  good.

She hasn’t told Janis that. Regina still hasn’t quite figured out how to have a normal, human conversation with Janis. They’d hung out together with Cady and Aaron and Damian occasionally over the summer, but their interactions were, at best, awkward. Regina isn’t used to people challenging her—but she thinks she likes it.

In fact, as much as she hates to admit it, she thinks… that she likes Janis.

Regina’s still trying to wrap her head around that, and the new hair isn’t helping.

She’s eating lunch, a book that she isn’t actually reading open next to her. She  _would_  be reading it if Janis’s dumb hair and stupid face weren’t so distractingly attractive.

God, what is  _happening_  to her?

Suddenly, Damian slides into the seat across from her.

“What are you doing?” Regina asks, startled. 

“Saving you from yourself,” Damian says.

“What?”

“Regina,” Damian says seriously, “you have been staring creepily at Janis for the last three days. You need to stop.”

Regina opens her mouth and then closes it, feeling her face flush red. “I wasn’t,” she denies lamely.

Damian pins her with a look. “My gaydar is like Shakira’s hips. It doesn’t lie.” 

Regina closes her eyes for a moment and briefly entertains a fantasy where Damian gets eaten by one of the lions Cady never shuts up about.

“Would you like to come eat with us?” Damian offers.

Regina is hit with a wave of anxiety. She needs at least 24-hour notice so she can rehearse how to perfectly compliment Janis’s haircut without stuttering like a loser.

She must have a wild look in her eyes because Damian touches her hand gently.

“Or I can just sit here with you and we don’t have to talk about your very evident giant les—”

Regina stands up abruptly. “Will you shut up if I do?” she hisses.

“Have you ever known me to shut up, Regina?” Damian asks, grinning.

Regina just sighs and picks up her tray and her book.

She can do this. She has this under control. She can do this. She has this under control. She can do—

“Yes, bitch,” Damian cheers quietly next to her as they walk across the cafeteria.

Regina blushes, realizing she said that last bit out loud.

Maybe things aren’t as under control as she thought.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could I have early Regina x Janis where they get drunk together and Regina confesses she’s never kissed a girl and Janis asks if Regina wants to kiss her and Regina says yes and they kiss and things escalate? You can interpret that however and take it as far as you want.

Janis is still getting used to this whole “hanging out with Regina” thing. 

If you told her a year ago that she’d spend weekends at Regina’s house with both Gretchen Wieners  _and_ Kevin Gnapoor present, Janis would have laughed in your face.

But here she is, sprawled out on Regina’s cushy bedroom carpet, more than a little tipsy.

It’s nearly two in the morning; Karen fell asleep on Regina’s living room couch, but the others have all gone home. Damian had seemed apprehensive to leave Janis essentially alone with Regina, but Janis waved him off.

Strangely, Janis and Regina have spent the last couple of hours just talking. Janis is always startled to find that her best friend from middle school is still in there, hidden under all the glitter and lip gloss.

The conversation has essentially turned into a gossip session about all of Regina’s ex-boyfriends. 

“Was Shane really worth cheating on Aaron?” Janis asks, turning her head to look at an equally drunk Regina, who is lying next to her on the floor.

Janis can’t remember why they’re lounging on the floor. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Regina wrinkles her nose and says, “Eh. He was definitely better than Aaron, though.”

“The lion suit wasn’t conducive to getting off?” Janis asks, mostly sarcastically.

“I don’t think the lion suit was the problem,” Regina says, rolling her eyes. “Half the time I’d have to do it myself.”

Janis snorts. “You wouldn’t have that problem with another girl.”

Regina looks at Janis for a long moment, silent. Janis realizes what she’s said and feels a knot of dread form in her stomach.

Then Regina rolls over so she’s fully facing Janis. “I’ve never even kissed a girl,” she admits quietly.

“Oh,” Janis says, feeling suddenly nervous. “Do you want to?”

Regina’s eyes flick down to Janis’s lips for a split second. “Yes,” she breathes, so quiet Janis almost misses it.

Janis wills her alcohol-addled brain to wake the fuck up before she says something dumb. “Do you want to kiss me?”

Something dumb like  _that_.

Regina moves closer to Janis, close enough for Janis to feel Regina’s breath against her lips. Janis can smell her perfume and her shampoo, something floral with a hint of vanilla. It makes her heart beat faster.

“Are you sure?” Regina whispers. 

Janis doesn’t even stop to think before she cups a hand against Regina’s cheek and kisses her, careful and gentle.

Regina is having none of Janis’s caution. She presses forward, fisting a hand in Janis’s jacket as she first focuses on Janis’s bottom lip, then the top.

Janis’s brain is filled with thoughtless white noise as Regina swipes her tongue over the seam of Janis’s lips, and Janis opens her mouth without a second thought.

Regina slips her tongue into Janis’s mouth, exploring, then retreating. 

Regina finally pulls back, just a little, panting.

“Is this okay?” Regina asks. Her lip gloss is smudged and her pupils are dilated, her cheeks flushed.

It’s a good question. What the fuck are they doing? Are they going to regret this? 

Janis pushes the reasonable half of her brain aside. The electricity racing through her veins wants nothing more than to keep making out with Regina.

She’s never made the best decisions while intoxicated.

In lieu of an answer, Janis pushes at Regina’s shoulder until she lies flat on her back, and Janis straddles her hips.

Regina sucks in a sharp breath, her hands coming up to rest on Janis’s waist.

Janis leans down and kisses Regina hard, tangling a hand in her hair as their teeth clash before Janis starts kissing down Regina’s neck. She can feel Regina’s pulse racing.

“Don’t you fucking dare leave any marks,” Regina says breathily, and Janis smirks against her skin.

“Fine,” Janis says, instead slipping her hands underneath Regina’s top.

Janis runs her fingers along the edge of Regina’s bra, just to watch her squirm. 

Regina moves her hands from Janis’s waist to slip under her shirt. She pauses, looking at Janis with a silent question in her eyes.

Janis slides her hands out from underneath Regina’s shirt to guide Regina’s hands upward, on top of her bra.

Regina closes her eyes for a moment, breathing hard, hands stilled.

“You can move your hands, you know,” Janis says, surprised at the low tone of her voice.

“I don’t want to do it wrong,” Regina admits quietly, looking uncharacteristically apprehensive.

“You won’t,” Janis assures her.

Carefully, Regina brushes her thumbs over the tops of Janis’s breasts, above her bra. She looks like she’s concentrating hard.

Janis kisses Regina again, but not as hungrily as before—it’s sweet, Janis’s hands cupping Regina’s face gently.

Regina slips her hands out from under Janis’s shirt and places one on the back of Janis’s neck.

Once their kisses start to turn chaste, Janis moves off Regina and lies next to her.

“Shit,” Regina says after a couple of minutes, eyes wide. “I think I like girls.”

“You’re welcome,” Janis says sardonically.

She’ll have to unpack that revelation later.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis/Regina - one of them is sick at school and the other one finds out and takes care of them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of vomit.

Regina gets a text during fourth period from Gretchen saying that she heard from Mike Thurman who heard from Taylor Wedell who heard from Tyler Kimble that Janis threw up in English class.

She feels anxious all through the rest of class, even despite the deep breathing exercises her therapist taught her. As soon as the bell rings, Regina walks as quickly as she can in her Louboutins to the nurse’s office, all but banging the door open.

“Where’s Janis Sarkisian?” Regina barks at the startled nurse. 

“She isn’t feeling well,” the nurse warns. “You shouldn’t be in here. You need to let her rest.”

“Try and stop me,” Regina snarls, stalking past the nurse’s desk to the row of beds in the back room.

She really is working on not being such a bitch. But sometimes… it’s hard.

Janis is curled into a little ball, an emesis basin cradled in her arms. She’s pale and a little sweaty.

Regina hovers over her, wringing her hands. She doesn’t know why she’s so anxious. Sophomore year, when her boyfriend Kyle got nailed in the head with the baseball and sustained a concussion, the only thing Regina cared about was the fact that he couldn’t drive her to school for a few weeks.

Janis’s eyes blink open. “Regina?”

“Hi,” Regina breathes, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I just threw up in front of twenty people,” Janis mutters, cringing.

“Don’t worry about that,” Regina assures her. “I got Tyler to delete the video.”

Janis’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What video?”

“Uh, nothing,” Regina says quickly. “Never mind.”

Janis gets a funny look on her face before dry heaving over the basin.

Regina jumps up, panicked. “Stop doing that!”

Janis sucks in a deep breath before looking up at Regina. “Why didn't I think of that?” she asks wryly.

“Sorry,” Regina says, running a hand through her hair. “I’m not… good at this kind of thing.”

Janis just sighs and wipes her hand across the back of her mouth, pulling her jacket tighter around herself.

Janis must not be feeling well if she’s passing up an opportunity to make a dig at Regina.

Gingerly, Regina sits back down and cautiously rests a hand on Janis’s shoulder. She notices that Janis is shivering. 

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Regina asks.

Janis eyes her warily, as if debating what she’s going to say, and murmurs something under her breath.

“What?” Regina leans in closer.

“Will you hold me until my mom gets here?” Janis asks in a tiny voice.

Regina is quiet for a long moment, looking over her shoulder. They’re at  _school_. Anybody could just walk in. How would Regina explain it if someone stumbled across her spooning Janis half an hour after she puked up her breakfast burrito on the floor of Mr. Buck’s classroom?

She must have been silent for too long because Janis grumbles, “Forget it. I don’t know why I asked.”

Regina looks at Janis, curled in on herself, looking positively miserable. It makes something squeeze tight and painful in Regina’s chest.

She stands and tiptoes over to the privacy curtain and pulls it across its track, shielding them from view. 

“Don’t you dare say a word about this to anyone,” Regina whispers as she kicks off her shoes and carefully climbs into the bed behind Janis.

Immediately, Janis turns over and tucks her head in the space under Regina’s chin. Her hair is damp with sweat and it’s kind of gross, but Regina tries not to think about that. She wraps her arms around Janis’s shaking body and holds her close, trying to will away whatever gross bug she’s contracted.

Regina can feel Janis’s breath against her collarbone. It makes her heart beat a little bit faster.

Slowly, Regina presses a soft kiss against the top of Janis’s head. Her hair is slightly damp with sweat but it still smells like the shampoo she uses, something floral mixed with vanilla.

“I felt that,” Janis breathes against Regina’s skin.

“Shut up,” Regina says, glad that Janis can’t see her blush.

Janis, amazingly, just laughs and does what she’s told for once.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could you do something on Regina coming out? With Regina/Janis?

Regina’s been acting weird lately. 

Janis can’t quite put her finger on what it is. It almost seems like there’s something Regina wants to say, but she’s holding herself back.

It doesn’t make any sense to Janis; Regina has never been afraid to say exactly what’s on her mind, albeit her recent efforts to not be such a bitch all the time.

After the third consecutive day of watching Regina stare silently off into space for the entirety of their lunch period, Janis pulls her aside after school.

“Are you okay?” Janis asks.

They’re not friends, not exactly—they don’t spend time together if Cady isn’t there. But Janis has been seeing more and more of the Regina she knew from middle school—the Regina that was her best friend—in the time since they all made up at spring fling. 

Regina looks at her for what feels like forever, searching Janis’s face for something.

“How did you tell people that you’re a lesbian?” Regina asks, so quiet that Janis barely hears her.

“You kind of did that for me,” Janis snaps, feeling the white-hot flare of anger twinge in her chest.

Regina’s face falls and she turns away, running a hand through her hair. “Right. Sorry,” she says, voice shaking.

Instinctively, Janis reaches out and catches Regina’s hand before she can walk away.

Regina turns back to her, looking like she’s barely holding it together.

“Uh,” Janis says, “why?”

Regina looks around at the deserted hallway. She takes a deep breath before whispering, “I’m gay.”

Janis stands frozen, stunned. She feels like Regina just told her that the sky is actually red, and she’s been looking at it wrong this whole time.

Janis looks at Regina and sees her starting to unravel: she’s wringing her hands so hard it looks like she might break her fingers, her breathing starting to border on hyperventilating.

Without pausing to think, Janis pulls Regina into a hug, holding her tight. Regina tenses, holding her arms stiffly at her sides. Janis can feel her body shaking.

“It’s okay,” Janis says softly. “You’re okay.”

After a few moments, Regina hugs back, her breath stuttering in Janis’s ear.

“I’m sorry,” Regina whispers, and Janis just nods.

When Regina finally lets go and pulls back, Janis can see that her eyes are red-rimmed and glassy. She hasn’t seen Regina cry in five years. Regina has her nose turned up slightly, trying to maintain some shred of dignity, so Janis doesn’t comment on it.

“I won’t tell anybody,” Janis assures her, leaving the  _not like you did to me_  unspoken but hanging between them.

“I think…” Regina looks down at the floor for a moment, steeling herself. “I think I want to tell people.”

Janis’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Not, like, everybody,” Regina adds, blushing. “But I’m tired of living a lie.”

“Okay,” Janis says, because she has no idea what the fuck to say. 

“Will you help me?” Regina asks quietly.

Janis almost laughs in her face. This is all too weird. 

But Regina is still shaking, and looking at Janis with so much hopeful honesty on her face it kind of makes Janis’s chest hurt. So she decides to go easy on Regina.

“Sure,” Janis agrees. “Also, you have mascara under your eyes.”

* * *

“I can’t do this,” Regina says, eyes wild.

Janis sighs and places her hands on Regina’s shoulders. “Yes, you can. Half the people here are confirmed gays.”

They’re standing in Janis’s kitchen. Damian, Cady, Gretchen, and Karen are gathered in the living room, thinking they’re just here to watch a movie.

(Well, Damian knows what’s actually going on—Janis had to talk to  _somebody_  after Regina came out to her.)

Regina looks away, looking conflicted. 

“Look, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Janis tells her, “but you can trust these people. You said so yourself.”

“You’re right,” Regina says finally. 

“I always am,” Janis mutters, gently shoving Regina into the living room.

Regina gives her a dirty look, but she also looks kind of terrified, so it doesn’t hold a lot of weight.

“Hey guys,” Janis says, standing in front of the television with Regina. Cady stops scrolling through Netflix and everyone turns their attention to Janis and Regina.

Regina looks at Janis with the same deer-in-headlights look that Gretchen had on her face that day in the gym when Karen brought up the time Gretchen got diarrhea on the ferris wheel. 

Janis gives a look of encouragement, nodding.

Regina just stares back at her, frozen. 

Janis tries to subtly gesture for Regina to get on with it.

“Waiting for the bus?” Karen says. “No, wait—looking for your car in a parking lot.”

“This isn’t charades, Karen!” Regina snaps. Karen shrinks back, and Regina presses her fingers to her temples and sighs. “Sorry. I want to—I  _need_  to tell you guys something. About me. It may come as a shock, but I really want you to know—it’s important to me that you know—what I’m  _trying_  to say is—”

Janis cringes at Regina’s rambling, exchanging a knowing look with Damian. Gretchen and Cady are looking at Regina with concern, and Karen just looks confused.

Regina pauses for a few moments, taking a deep breath. “I’m a lesbian,” she says finally, so softly that Janis is worried that nobody else heard her, but then she sees Cady’s mouth fall open.

Silence falls on the room, and Regina looks like she’s about to pass out when Gretchen suddenly jumps up and rushes over, throwing her arms around Regina. Regina lets out a little  _oof_  of surprise, taking a step back to keep from falling over. 

Then Cady joins in, and before Janis knows it, they’re all group-hugging Regina. Regina is laughing and crying and looks more relaxed than Janis has seen her in a long time.

“Are you going to join the drama club now?” Karen asks, and they all turn to her, confused.

Then Damian bursts out laughing. “You’re thinking of thespian. Regina means she likes girls, honey.”

“Oh!” Karen says brightly.

Once everyone is done reassuring Regina that they love and support her (Janis rolls her eyes, but Regina smiles shyly and blushes), they settle down onto the couch to watch a movie. 

Regina sits next to Janis. “Thank you,” she whispers. Her eyes are still watery but she’s smiling.

Janis just reaches out and squeezes Regina’s hand. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cady asking Regina what about her caught her eye that first day Cady was in school + Regina eventually finally having to admit her not so little crush on Cady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Cady/Regina, obviously.

By the time they’re halfway through their summer vacation, everything seems to have calmed down.

They’re not all one big, happy family—Cady doesn’t know if Janis and Regina will every truly be friends again, as much as she hopes it will happen someday—but they can all handle being in the same space without killing each other.

They even manage to have fun together. 

Like right now: Gretchen invited the gang over for a small get-together. A  _real_  small get-together, not like the house-destroying blowout that still haunts Cady’s dreams. 

Cady is sitting with Regina on Gretchen’s patio, watching Damian try and goad Janis into recreating some Broadway show number with him. He eventually gives up and finds a much more willing participant in Karen.

Regina recently had her spinal halo removed, and is more visibly relaxed that Cady has seen her in a long time. The bus seemed to have really knocked out her bitch persona. Her transformation has been almost radical, from hard plastic to almost-normal human being. 

Cady doesn’t want to dwell on the past, but she does have one question that’s been nagging at her in the back of her mind for months.

“Regina?” Cady asks, toying with the straw poking out of her can of soda. Regina hums in response. “What made you stop me in the cafeteria on the second day of school?”

Regina’s eyes widen, just a fraction of an inch. For a second she seems almost alarmed, but then relaxes her face back into her usual expression of cool composure.

“I don’t know,” Regina says cagily. “I couldn’t stand the secondhand embarrassment I felt from watching you walking around in socks and sandals.”

Cady rolls her eyes. Regina  _has_  changed, but she’s still Regina.

“Really?” Cady presses. “Do you try and adopt every person you see making bad fashion choices?”

Regina shifts in her seat, looking uncomfortable at being challenged. 

Before Regina can respond, Karen drops into the seat next to them.

“Hi!” Karen says cheerily.

“Hi, Karen,” Cady says. “Hey, maybe you can clear this up: why did Regina stop me in the cafeteria at the beginning of the year and invite me to join you guys for lunch?”

Out of the corner of her eye, Cady sees Regina making subtle slashing motions across her neck. Karen seems to either not care or not notice.

“Because she thought you were pretty and wanted to claim you as her own, duh,” Karen says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Are you two going to go on a date now?”

Cady’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Go on a date?” she asks, looking over at Regina, who has sunk down lower in her chair, her ears and cheeks red.

“Karen,” Regina cuts in sharply, “can you go grab me a drink?”

“Sure!” Karen stands and heads into the house.

“What does she mean, going on a date?” Cady asks.

“Nothing,” Regina mutters, looking away. “Just drop it.”

Cady doesn’t drop it.

“Seriously, why did you stop me in the cafeteria?” Cady asks again, curiosity piqued by the way Regina’s face seems to be getting redder by the second. “You thought I was pretty? There are lots of pretty girls in school. And what did Karen mean about you claiming me as your own? Does that me—”

“I liked you, okay?” Regina snaps, cutting off Cady’s rambling. 

Cady’s mouth falls open slightly. “You… liked me? As in like-like?”

"Are we in fifth grade?” Regina grumbles. “Yes, as in like-like. Now can we please talk about something else?”

With that revelation, everything starts to make sense: Cady’s indoctrination into the Plastics, the hand-holding, the obsession with getting back the one boy Cady expressed interest in.

Regina looks deeply uncomfortable. She’s twisting the fabric of her shirt in her fist, and her face is a mixture of terror and embarrassment. 

Something about the sight makes Cady want to wrap Regina up in a hug and never let go. It also kind of gives Cady butterflies in her stomach, just a little. Regina’s honest, vulnerable moments have always been Cady’s weakness.

Cady reaches over and squeezes Regina’s hand. “Thank you for telling me,” Cady says quietly.

Regina just gives her a pained look that makes Cady’s heart beat in a way that hurts her chest. 

The thought occurs to Cady that maybe she likes Regina, too. She puts that thought aside in her brain to process later. Right now, Regina needs reassurance.

“I’m glad you told me,” Cady repeats. “I promise I won’t treat you any differently than I did before, and I won’t tell anyone.”

Regina gives her a tiny, tentative smile. “Thanks.”

The butterflies erupt in Cady’s stomach again.

Maybe she does like Regina George.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could I request a Butch!Regina fic? Maybe something to do with Cady dragging Janis to a lacrosse game or something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't know how sports work.

Janis has never been to a sporting event in the nearly four years she’s been at North Shore. 

Cady tried to drag her to one of Aaron’s soccer games once. Needless to say, she didn’t go.

But Regina’s their friend now—or, kind of their friend. She’s more Cady’s friend, but Janis and Regina have managed to operate in mostly the same social circle and not kill each other thus far.

Cady had gone into this long, clearly rehearsed spiel about how they should go to Regina’s lacrosse game because Regina had come to Janis’s art show and Damian’s musical and they as women need to support each other and—

Janis agreed just to get Cady to shut up.

Also, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bit curious about Regina George playing sports.

“Where’s Regina?” Janis asks, scanning the field. 

Cady points to a girl in a backwards baseball cap, using her lacrosse stick to toss a ball back and forth with another girl. “There. Number eleven.”

Janis does a double-take. “ _That’s_  Regina?”

“Yes,” Cady says, looking at Janis kind of strangely.

Squinting, Janis can see that it is, in fact, Regina. The Regina she knows wouldn’t be caught dead in a baseball cap, much less in public. 

Regina does take the hat off when the game starts, but seeing Regina play a sport—a  _team_  sport, no less—is possibly an even stranger sight. Janis can’t think of a time in the last three years she’s seen Regina run—but there she is, running and passing the ball.

There’s something about it that Janis finds surprisingly attractive.

When Regina scores a goal, Janis surprises herself by letting out a loud “WOO!”

Janis sees Cady looking at her amusedly out of the corner of her eye. 

Inevitably, Regina collides with another girl. To Janis’s surprise, it was actually the other girl who ran into Regina. The ref gives the girl a yellow card and Regina yells “GET FUCKED” at the girl as she jogs to the bench. 

Janis’s mouth drops open. Is this what all lacrosse games are like? Why has it taken Janis so long to go to one?

Cady drags Janis down the bleachers when the game ends to say hi to Regina. 

Regina’s face is red and sweaty from the sun and the game, and she’s wearing that baseball cap again. It makes Janis’s heart beat a little bit faster. It’s… strangely sexy.

It’s also just unfair that she can look that pretty after playing an intense lacrosse game. 

Regina smiles when she sees Cady and Janis and jogs over to the fence, water bottle in hand. 

“Congrats on your win!” Cady says.

Regina’s smile widens. “Thank you,” she says, almost shyly. “Thanks for coming.”

Regina hugs Cady and then turns to Janis. She hesitates, a question in her eyes.

Janis shrugs and cautiously gives Regina a one-armed hug. 

“Uh, good game,” Janis says after a beat of silence, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. 

“Thank you,” Regina says quietly. She opens her mouth to say something, but her coach calls her name. 

“Sorry,” Regina says, signaling to her coach that she’ll be right there. “Post-game meeting.”

“We’ll catch up with you later,” Cady promises.

Regina nods. “Thanks for coming!” she says again before walking back to where her team is sitting.

When Janis turns, she sees Cady staring at her, a self-satisfied smile on her face.

“What?” Janis asks.

“You hugged Regina,” Cady says.

“So?” Janis crosses her arms defensively. “You did, too.”

Cady rolls her eyes. “Okay, Janis.”

“If you have something to say, then say it,” Janis says, irritated.

“You spent the entire game staring at Regina like the lions in Kenya would look at the wildebeest, and then you hugged her,” Cady says.

Janis stares at her for a moment, startled at how obvious she’d been without even knowing it. “If you’re trying to imply that I like Regina, you’re out of your mind.”

“Uh-huh,” Cady says, her tone making it clear that she doesn’t believe Janis. “So you don’t want to go to the next game?”

Janis should say no. She should say no to the next game and all the games after that. She should cut off this weird attraction to Regina while she still can.

“Maybe,” Janis says. 

Cady just grins.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can I please have Janis/Regina where Janis is drunk and being goofy and silly and Regina is inner monologuing about how she’s falling in love with Janis? + Janis/Regina with Janis laughing at Regina is all heart eyes at her

Regina thought it would be weird hanging out at Damian’s house, but it’s not. 

Maybe it’s because she’s a little bit tipsy—maybe it’s because they’re  _all_ a little bit tipsy—but Regina feels strangely at home in Damian’s finished basement. 

Regina never thought she’d be getting drunk on a Saturday night with Cady, Damian, Janis, Gretchen, Karen, and Aaron, but here she is.

It’s the first time since middle school that Regina’s felt like she has a real group of friends. She’s had a lot of followers over the last few years, but if she’s learned anything during her senior year it’s that followers aren’t the same thing as friends.

Regina is startled to find how happy her friends make her. It really makes it apparent how unhappy she’s actually been the past several years. 

She’s also surprised to find how much she missed Janis.

Janis had been rightfully wary of her at first, but Regina really feels like they’ve started to repair their relationship, little by little.

It’s weird, Regina thinks as she watches Janis doing some weird goofy dance with Damian in the center of the room, how important Janis has become to her in only a few months.

When Janis smiles, Regina can’t help but smile, too.

Everything about becoming friends with Janis again is scary, but this time Regina’s decided to embrace it rather than deflecting it.

Regina briefly makes eye contact with Janis across the room, a wide smile on her face, and Regina feels like someone reached into her chest and squeezed her heart. Suddenly, she’s back in seventh grade, watching Janis singing along to the radio in her mom’s car on their way home from school.

Regina gets that same familiar urge to run screaming in the other direction from her feelings, but she refuses to do that this time—and if that means she falls hopelessly in love with Janis, then so be it.

Regina stops breathing at her realization. Is she in love with Janis?

“Hey.”

Regina nearly jumps off of the couch when Aaron drops into the seat next to her.

“Hi,” Regina says shakily, eyes still on Janis as she tries to see how many pirouettes she can do on Damian’s turning board, Cady and Damian standing next to her to make sure she doesn’t fall and split her head open. She’s laughing that loud, dorky laugh that she used to be self-conscious about in middle school. 

Regina can’t help but smile when Janis laughs, even if it does kind of feel like her world is tilting sideways.

“Regina?”

Regina turns to see Aaron looking at her expectantly. 

“Sorry,” Regina says, “what did you say?”

“I said you’re being really obvious,” Aaron repeats.

Regina frowns. “About what?”

“Regina,” Aaron says seriously, “you’ve been staring at Janis all night.”

Regina feels her face turn red. She’d almost forgotten how (sometimes annoyingly) direct Aaron is. 

“Just ask her out,” Aaron says.

Regina stares at him for a moment. She considers denying it, or telling him to mind his own fucking business. But what, exactly, would that accomplish? She’s tired of acting unfeeling all the time. She’s done hiding.

“I can’t,” Regina says, so quiet it’s almost a whisper.

“Why not?” Aaron asks. 

“Uh, because I ruined her life?” Regina replies. “She’ll say no.”

“You’re not in middle school anymore,” Aaron says simply. “You’re not the same person you were in eighth grade, and neither is she.”

Regina just crosses her arms and makes a noncommittal noise, refusing to concede that Aaron might have a point. 

She can handle liking Janis knowing that Janis might not like her back. But she doesn’t know if she can handle Janis’s outright rejection. Not yet, anyway.

Regina makes eye contact with Janis again. Janis grins at her—a true, uninhibited smile that makes Regina’s heart skip a beat.

She’s not ready to act on her feelings for Janis, but Regina really hopes that Aaron is right.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis/Regina wearing each other's clothes

Janis watches it happen almost in slow-motion.

Some poor freshman is walking by their lunch table when he has the ultimate misfortune of tripping and spilling tomato soup onto Regina’s all-white outfit.

It feels like the entire cafeteria goes silent while everyone waits to see just what method Regina is going to use to murder this kid.

It’s a testament to how far Regina’s come (and the quality of her therapist) that she just closes her eyes and silently counts to ten before calmly telling the profusely apologizing freshman to be more careful next time.

Everyone at their table stares at Regina in shock.

“Wow,” Cady says finally as the freshman scurries away. “You handled that really well, Regina.”

Regina just sighs, looking down at her soup-stained top and pants. “Does anyone have a change of clothes?”

“Don’t you always keep a spare outfit in your locker?” Cady asks.

“I took it home because it was out of season and I forgot to replace it,” Regina answers, pressing her fingers to her temples like she has a headache.

“I have clothes in my locker,” Janis says. “You’re welcome to borrow them.”

Everyone turns and looks at her.

“What?” Janis says defensively. “I get paint on myself a lot.”

Regina looks at her for a long moment. “Okay, fine.” Then she adds, almost as an afterthought, “Thanks.”

* * *

“I can’t wait to see this,” Damian mutters, leaning against the sink in the girls’ restroom. He’d followed Janis and Regina in, not about to pass up the opportunity to witness this.

“This looks ridiculous,” Regina complains from inside the stall.

“If you hate my fashion choices so much you don’t have to wear it,” Janis says, crossing her arms.

“No, I mean—” Regina huffs out a breath. “It looks fine on  _you_.”

“Is that a compliment from the great Regina George?” Janis teases.

“Shut up,” Regina answers, unclicking the lock and reluctantly stepping out holding her wadded-up stained outfit. 

Damian promptly bursts out laughing.

Janis tries to keep a straight face, but the sight of Regina in ripped, paint-splattered jeans, Janis’s “we are not alone” alien t-shirt, and Regina’s own three-inch heels is pretty amusing. Something about it is also giving Janis a fluttery feeling in her stomach.

Regina’s face reddens, just a little bit, but she’s half-smiling, too.

“Honestly?” Janis says as Regina good-naturedly twirls for Damian. “I think this is the best you’ve ever looked.”

The smile drops off of Regina’s face. “You take that back!” she demands.

Janis just laughs and shakes her head. 

The bell rings. 

“You ready for your runway?” Damian asks.

Regina squares her shoulders, lifts her chin, and shakes her hair into place. In a matter of seconds, she shifts from dorky-normal-person-Regina to the apex predator of the savannas of North Shore. (Janis may have watched a nature documentary with Cady last night.)

It’s kind of impressive to watch.

(It’s also kind of—just a little bit—hot.)

“Let’s do this,” Regina says determinedly, starting to strut to the door.

Before she leaves, Regina turns back to Janis with a soft smile and says, “Thank you.”

Janis hates the way it makes her heart beat a little faster.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt meme: Regina/Janis + “Stop being so cute.”

In the time following her bus accident, Regina has learned several things.

For starters, she’s learned that being hit by a bus  _sucks_.

She’s also started to discover the merits of being truthful.

And she has kind of a huge crush on Janis Sarkisian.

The last one was admittedly hard to come to terms with, but Regina is determined not to hurt Janis again. If that means falling hopelessly in love with a girl who kind of still hates her guts, then so be it. 

Perhaps Janis doesn’t hate her anymore, but she seems a little wary of Regina.

Regina tries to not be obvious about her crush, but she suspects she’s failing.

Regina looks for any opportunity to spend time with Janis to show her that she’s changed, and maybe to rebuild some trust.

Today, that entails posing for a portrait Janis is painting for an upcoming art show.

It’s a little awkward, and there’s a tension that hangs between them, but they’re conversing like normal humans in Janis’s garage-slash-studio, so Regina counts it as a win.

Janis is wearing her painting clothes—an old, paint-splattered shirt and jeans—and she’s somehow managed to smear paint across her forehead. Regina hates that she finds it so endearing.

A song comes on the radio that Janis likes and she takes a break from painting to dance goofily around the garage as Regina watches in amusement.

“Come on,” Janis says, gesturing for Regina to join her.

“I don’t think so,” Regina says, crossing her arms.

“Come on,” Janis goads with a grin. “One dance.”

Butterflies erupt in Regina’s stomach at the prospect of dancing with Janis.

“Fine,” Regina says begrudgingly. 

Regina lets Janis spin her around and gallivant around the garage for a minute. Regina is close enough to smell Janis’s shampoo and the chemical smell of the paint on her clothes.

Janis dips Regina suddenly and her eyes widen in surprise. Janis laughs at her startled look, the loud, dorky laugh that she only lets loose in the presence of friends.

“Oh, stop being so cute,” Regina grumbles before she can stop herself.

Janis freezes, raising her eyebrows at Regina.

Regina flushes red when she realizes what she said and starts to backpedal. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—that’s not what—like, I mean you’re obviously cute but—”

“Regina, relax,” Janis cuts in, tapping Regina’s nose with her finger for emphasis.

Regina takes a breath, willing the turbulent feeling in her stomach to go away.

Janis sits back down her stool and leans back slightly.

“So tell me more about how cute you think I am,” Janis says. 

Regina barely resists the urge to knock Janis off of the stool, which is only attributable to the fact that injuring Janis is not conducive to getting her to date Regina.

“Shut up,” Regina says instead.

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis/Regina + "I feel like I can't breathe."

Janis wonders what about the North Shore school district bus drivers makes them drive like they’re a getaway driver leaving a bank robbery.

After almost killing Regina, one would think they’d slow down at least a little. 

One would also think Regina would pay closer attention when crossing the parking lot, but some people evidently just don’t learn. 

Janis is talking to Sonja Acquino near the south entrance to the school when she sees Regina nearly step in front of a bus zooming by. 

Janis’s heart leaps to her throat, but Regina steps back onto the curb just in time.

Then she sees Regina sink slowly down onto the ground, hunching over with her head between her knees. She’s wearing white, so if she’s sitting on the dirty sidewalk, something must be seriously wrong.

Janis tells Sonja she’ll catch up with her later and jogs over to Regina.

“Hey, are you okay?” Janis asks, crouching down next to her.

“I feel like I can’t breathe,” Regina gasps out between shuddering, ragged breaths. 

“Oh God,” Janis mutters, hands hovering near Regina, unsure what to do. She wracks her brain for what her middle-school therapist told her to do during panic attacks. 

Regina’s hyperventilating seems to grow worse as Janis sits there, frozen. 

Janis makes an executive decision and wraps her arms around Regina, pulling her as close as she can with Regina’s head still down. 

“You’re okay,” Janis murmurs as she rubs Regina’s back. “You’re safe. You’re okay. Just breathe with me, okay? In.” She pauses as Regina draws a slow, gasping breath. “And out.”

After a couple of minutes, Regina’s breathing has mostly returned to normal and she sits up fully. Her eyes are red and watery, and her mascara has smudged under her eyes a little bit. She looks away, looking a little embarrassed.

It’s kind of a heartbreaking sight. Janis is always startled at reminders that Regina is a human person, not some invincible Barbie doll.

“Are you okay?” Janis asks cautiously.

Regina wipes at her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine,” Janis says.

“What do you want me to say, Janis?” Regina snaps. “That I thought I was going to die again? That I can’t cross the parking lot without feeling like I’m going to throw up?”

Regina turns away, desperately trying to keep it together.

Janis finds herself blinking back tears of her own. It’s not her fault Regina got hit by a bus, and Regina would concur. But she can’t help but feel guilty. For all of the shitty things Regina did to her, she’s still a person.

“I’m sorry,” Janis says quietly. “I didn’t mean to push.”

Regina sighs, running a hand through her hair. “No, you’re right.” 

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Janis asks. 

“Can you—” Regina hesitates, like she’s debating if she wants to ask it. “Can you walk me to my car?”

“Yeah, of course,” Janis says. 

She realizes that she still has an arm wrapped around Regina and quickly lets go, standing up and offering her hand to pull Regina up as well.

To her surprise, Regina doesn’t let go of Janis’s hand, squeezing it so hard it hurts as they cross the parking lot to Regina’s white SUV.

“Thank you,” Regina says, almost shyly, as she unlocks her car. 

“Sure,” Janis says with a shrug. 

Regina looks at her for a long moment like she wants to say something else, but then turns and gets in her car. She waves to Janis as she pulls out of the parking space and drives off. 

Janis stands there and watches Regina’s car disappear, wondering when the hell she started caring so much about Regina George.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt meme: “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!” Janis/Regina

Regina George needs constant attention.

In theory, Janis was aware of this. But it’s only intensified as their relationship progresses.

One would think that being five years out of high school and having gone through a lengthy reconciliation process would discourage Regina from purposely doing annoying things to get a reaction from Janis, but it turns out that that just isn’t the case.

Case in point: Janis is trying to get some work done, sitting in the bed she shares with Regina, but Regina is doing her best to make that impossible.

It starts with a hand on her thigh.

Janis looks at Regina out of the corner of her eye before resuming typing.

Regina’s hand moves higher, stroking teasingly on the inside of Janis’s thigh.

“Regina,” Janis warns.

“What?” Regina asks innocently.

“You know what,” Janis says, glaring at her until her hand stills.

Next, Regina slips her hand under Janis’s shirt.

Determined to ignore it, Janis keeps typing, although it’s hard to focus when Regina’s fingers edge underneath the underwire of her bra.

“Regina,” Janis says again. “I have a deadline. Stop it.”

Regina huffs, annoyed at being rebuffed. She crosses her arms, pouting.

Janis ignores her and tries to focus on her work.

After a few more minutes, Regina slips a hand into her pajama bottoms.

“Regina!” Janis exclaims irritatedly. “That’s it! You’re banned from the bed until further notice.”

Regina’s mouth falls open. “You can’t banish me!” she says indignantly. “This is my bed too!”

“I can and I did,” Janis says. She points to the door of their bedroom. “Now get out.”

Regina stares at her angrily for a minute before storming out the room in a huff.

Janis kind of feels bad, but she really needs to meet this deadline.

After about an hour, Janis ventures out into the living room, where Regina is sitting on the couch, half-watching some TV show while she scrolls through her phone.

“Hey,” Janis says. “I’m done now.”

Regina only answers with a  _hmph_. 

Carefully Janis sits down next to her on the couch. “I’m sorry for exiling you, but I really had to finish something.”

Regina’s pout softens a little bit, but she still isn’t really acknowledging Janis.

So Janis decides to use Regina’s tactics against her.

Janis presses a kiss to Regina’s cheek. When she receives no response, she starts trailing kisses down Regina’s jaw and neck, resting a hand on Regina’s thigh.

Subtly, Regina leans into the touch, and Janis kisses her on the lips—slowly, sweetly, trying to draw out any kind of reaction.

Regina makes a noise in the back of her throat when Janis runs a hand through her hair, fingers catching and tugging, just a little bit.

Hands start to roam as the kiss gets deeper and more intense.

Janis pulls back, just a little. “You’re un-banished from the bed if you want to move this over there.”

It takes Regina less than two seconds to stand up and get halfway to the bedroom, previous kerfuffle forgotten.

Janis laughs as she follows her. 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt meme: “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?” + Regina/Janis

Janis isn’t really sure where she stands with Regina.

They’ve slowly grown to be friends again over their senior year, gradually toeing the line of something more.

They also made out once at a party a couple of weeks ago. It probably didn’t help them in figuring out just what their relationship is.

A thick tension lies between them whenever they’re alone, and their efforts to remain platonic have grown sloppy—a subtle brush of Janis’s hand against Regina’s waist, Regina looking down at Janis’s lips whenever she speaks, lingering stares that almost caress the other girl’s body.

It’s exhausting, but Janis finds that she actually enjoys spending time with Regina, so she doesn’t stay away.

Perhaps sharing a bed with Regina—albeit her king-sized mattress—after staying up late watching rom-coms is not the smartest idea, but they’re both determined to keep things from getting weird between them.

Janis stares up at the ceiling, unable to sleep, for what feels like hours. She’s hyperfocused on the amount of space between her and Regina (about a foot) and Regina’s slow, rhythmic breathing.

Then she hears Regina let out a frustrated huff.

“Can’t sleep?” Janis whispers, and Regina startles.

“You shared the shit out of me,” Regina says, turning to face Janis. 

“Sorry,” Janis says.

“No, I can’t sleep,” Regina admits. 

“Me either,” Janis breathes, noting that the space between them is now at about six inches.

They’re both silent for a minute, tension thickening.

“Well, you can’t sleep, we could have sex,” Janis jokes, trying to break the tension.

“Janis!” Regina hisses, looking scandalized.

“I’m  _kidding_ ,” Janis says, rolling her eyes. “Jeez.”

“Oh,” Regina breathes.

A beat of silence passes.

Then Regina scoots a tiny bit closer to Janis and very carefully rests her head on Janis’s shoulder.

Janis feels like she stopped breathing. “What are you doing?” she asks, voice low.

“Shh,” Regina shushes her, slowly resting her hand on Janis’s stomach. “I sleep better this way.”

It’s a flimsy excuse, but Janis lets her have it. She turns a little more into Regina’s touch—close enough to smell her shampoo and the toothpaste she’d used—and feels her heart skip a beat.

Absently, Janis traces pattens on Regina’s arm until she hears her breathing even out. Janis can feel the warmth emanating from Regina.

Janis is surprised to find that it doesn’t take too long to fall asleep, wrapped in Regina’s arms. 

Regina was right, Janis supposes. She’ll definitely sleep better this way.

Janis’s last thought before she drifts off is that she could get used to this.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cady/Regina + “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”

When Cady and Aaron break up in October of their senior year, Regina tries her best not to be happy about it.

She fails miserably.

Aaron and Cady were good for each other, Regina has to begrudgingly admit. They made each other happy.

But watching them make each other happy was torture for Regina. When she would see them kiss, or cuddle together on the couch during movie nights, or make some incredibly lame math-related joke and then spend ten minutes laughing at it, Regina would curl her fingernails into her palms, feeling that old white-hot flash of rage she felt when Gretchen first told her that Cady liked Aaron. 

It took Regina a good month to realize that it wasn’t Cady she was jealous of—it was Aaron. 

The realization hit her like she had been doused with ice-cold water. Suddenly, the world seemed so much clearer—why she had decided to stop Cady in the cafeteria on the second day of school, why she had decided to pursue Aaron the moment she learned Cady liked him, why it hurt so deeply when she learned about Cady’s betrayal. 

She immediately called Gretchen in a panic.

( _”Your secret is safe with me,” Gretchen had promised. “Sonja Acquino and Grace Akinola have been dating for a year and I’ve never told anyone.”_ )

Still, Regina did her best to be nothing but supportive of Cady and Aaron’s relationship. She didn’t want to lose Cady as a friend again.

So when Cady calls her on the phone crying and asks her to come over, Regina tries to think of sad things during the drive over so she can be appropriately sympathetic.

Cady greets her at the door, red-eyed and sniffling. Regina immediately hugs her, subtly pressing her nose into Cady’s hair to smell her shampoo.

“What happened?” Regina asks as they sit on Cady’s couch, a tub of ice cream sitting between them.

“He said it just wasn’t working with the distance,” Cady says sadly, stabbing her spoon into the ice cream. “He needs to focus on school.”

“I’m sorry,” Regina says quietly, and she means it. Even despite her secret glee at the breakup, it hurts to see Cady so upset.

“I miss him already,” Cady says, starting to cry again. 

Regina wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She feels Cady’s soft hair against her cheek and closes her eyes, pretending, just for a moment, that Cady isn't crying over some stupid boy and instead snuggling with Regina.

Cady turns to her, snapping Regina out of her fantasy. 

“You two got back together,” Cady says hopefully. “Do you think that could happen with us?”

The question hurts more than Regina would care to admit.

“I don’t know,” Regina says, which is apparently the wrong answer because Cady just cries more.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Regina promises. Without thinking, Regina reaches out and wipes away Cady’s tears. “Do me a favor? Just smile. I really need to see you smile right now.”

Cady gives her a tiny smile. 

“You’re a great person, Cady,” Regina tells her honestly, shyly. “Any boy would be lucky to date you. Aaron didn’t know how good he had it.”

Cady’s smile turns a little more genuine. “Thanks,” she says softly.

There’s a moment of awkward silence.

“Do you want to watch bad reality TV?” Regina asks.

Cady lets out a small laugh. “Sure,” she agrees.

Cady rests her head on Regina’s shoulder as they flip through the TV channels. It makes Regina’s heart race.

She’s in way too deep.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janis talking to Regina when she thinks Regina is asleep in the hospital

Janis has prayed for Regina’s death since she was twelve years old. 

Every year on her birthday when she blows out her candles, she’s wished for Regina’s demise. 

Janis stares at the back of Regina’s head in chemistry and fantasizes about a world without Regina George.

But then Regina gets hit by a bus, and Janis wishes she could take it all back.

Janis spends the next two days feeling sick, obsessively checking Mrs. George’s Instagram stories for updates on Regina.

On the third day, Janis breaks and corners Karen at school for information about how one would go about visiting Regina.

She drives to the hospital after school and sits in the parking lot for twenty minutes, debating whether she should turn around and go home.

Then a song comes on the radio that was popular when Janis and Regina were in middle school. Janis is hit with memories of singing along, dancing wildly around Regina’s room.

She yanks the key out of the ignition before the song can get to the chorus.

Janis wanders the winding halls of the hospital until she finds Regina’s room, counting her footsteps to distract herself from the near-nauseating smell of antiseptic.

There’s nobody in the room, but there’s a duffel bag and a pillow on a chair, so maybe Mrs. George has just stepped out to get food.

Regina is curled up under the blanket—or, at least, curled up as best she can with a spinal halo encircling her head and neck—looking smaller than Janis has ever seen her.

There’s a scrape on Regina’s cheek and above her eyebrow, the first chink in her solid-teflon armor Janis has seen in years. 

Regina’s fist is curled up tight and tucked under her chin. It reminds Janis of the many sleepovers they had in middle school. Strangely, it calms her down a little, knowing some things never change.

Carefully, Janis sits down on the edge of the bed. She’s quiet for a long time, listening to the beeping of the monitors and watching the rise and fall of Regina’s chest as she breathes.

“I’m sorry,” Janis whispers into the quiet.

Regina ruined her life. Regina was ruthless, vindictive, and unapologetic in her quiet to destroy Janis. She burned their friendship like it meant nothing to her, and she never apologized.

But Janis isn’t absolved of wrongdoing, either.

And then Janis starts to cry. She hasn’t let herself cry over Regina in a long time. 

“I’m sorry,” she repeats, wiping her nose on her sleeve even though she knows Regina  _hates_  it when people do that. “I’m  _so_  sorry for everything. Please don’t die. I don’t want you to die.”

Regina lets out a tired groan, startling Janis. “Shut up,” she mutters. Then, as an afterthought, “Please.”

Janis wipes hastily at her eyes and feels her face turn red. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I  _was_ ,” Regina says, her voice low and gravelly. “Until someone came into my room and started crying on my bed.”

“I”m sorry,” Janis says, moving to stand up. “I’ll go.”

Regina reaches out, probably aiming to grab Janis’s hand. Her eyes are half-closed and her motor function probably isn’t what it should be, so she ends up just hitting Janis in the arm instead. 

“Stay?” Regina says softly. 

“Uh, okay,” Janis says hesitantly, sitting back down.

They sit in awkward silence for a few moments.

“How… are you feeling?” Janis asks finally.

Regina opens one eye. “Like I got hit by a bus.”

“Yeah, you look like you got hit by a bus,” Janis says before she can think it through.

Regina’s other eye opens, and they both narrow. “I don’t appreciate that.”

“Sorry,” Janis says. “I’m sorry about… everything. I feel like this is my fault.” She looks down at her shoes, guilt weighing heavily in her stomach.

Regina hits her in the arm again, and Janis looks at her. 

“It’s not your fault,” Regina tells her quietly but with conviction. “I… probably deserved it,” she adds, looking away. “I’m really sorry, Jan.”

“You didn’t,” Janis says, feeling her stomach twist at the old nickname. “I realized that I don’t actually want you dead.”

“What do you want?” Regina asks, looking like she actually wants to know the answer.

“I don’t know,” Janis says honestly. 

“You know I died for fifteen seconds? I saw you, for just a second. It would have been my biggest regret. I want to fix this,” Regina says, voice cracking just a little. (Janis pretends she doesn’t notice.)

“Well, maybe you can’t,” Janis says, and it comes out harsher than she meant it to be.

Regina looks down at her hands, and Janis notices one of her fingers is wrapped in a bandage.

“Okay,” Regina whispers. 

Janis stares at her for a long moment. This is the same girl who told everyone Janis was a lesbian, but it’s also the same girl who held her and bought her ice cream when Janis’s dog died.

“Maybe,” Janis says slowly, “we can try?”

It comes out like a question, but Regina’s face lights up immediately.

Janis notes how her eyelids are starting to droop closed, and the dark circles under Regina’s eyes. 

“I’ll let you rest,” Janis says, standing up. “Let me know when you get home?”

“Okay,” Regina says, almost shyly. 

Janis is nearly out the door when Regina’s voice stops her.

“Jan?”

“Hm?” Janis turns around.

“Thanks,” Regina says.

Janis smiles. She can’t remember the last time Regina George made her smile.

“Sure,” Janis says simply.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No regrets." + Cady/Janis

There were times when it felt like high school would never end—and yet here Janis is, about to leave for college in a  _week_.

Gretchen throws a going-away party for all of them, building a huge bonfire in her backyard.

It’s a somber affair. A couple of years ago, she would’ve been thrilled to never have to see some of the people in attendance again. Now, she finds herself promising to keep in touch with Regina and Gretchen and Karen.

After much deliberation, Janis chose the School of Visual Arts in New York City over the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. New York is where she’s always dreamed of living, and she won’t be too far from Damian, who’ll be attending Carnegie Mellon.

She will be halfway across the country from Cady, however, who’ll be attending Northwestern tuition-free thanks to her parents. 

As much as the party is supposed to be a celebration for the next stage of their lives, Janis watches Cady’s profile, illuminated by the fire, and almost feels like crying.

Cady is the closest friend Janis has ever had, excluding Damian. Janis hasn’t had a lot of close female friends—she’s found it hard to trust them, after her friendship with Regina fell apart.

That’s probably why it took Aaron breaking up with Cady to realize that what Janis felt for Cady was  _more_  than friendship.

That was months ago, and Janis had been too afraid that she would ruin their friendship if she tried for something more.

A debate rages in Janis’s head as she sits and stares at Cady. She could ruin their friendship, yes, although Janis has enough trust in her friend to know that Cady probably wouldn’t let that happen.

Another thought she has is that she and Cady could say goodbye to each other next week and never speak to each other again, lose touch completely. That’s actually what Janis is truly afraid of. 

If there’s anything Janis wants to say to Cady, she should say it now.

“Can I talk to you?” Janis asks, and Cady nods, following her a distance away from the fire so they can talk in private.

“What’s up?” Cady asks, reaching out and taking Janis’s hand in hers. It’s grounding, reminding Janis that Cady loves her, even if Cady doesn’t  _love_  her.

“I just…” Janis searches for the right words. “I don’t want to leave for college with any regrets, so I need to tell you something.”

“Okay,” Cady says, looking a little confused. 

“I really value your friendship and you’re one of my best friends, so honestly I’m a little scared this might ruin that,” Janis admits, letting out a self-deprecated laugh.

“Janis,” Cady says, pressing a hand to Janis’s cheek for a moment. “I don’t know what this is about, but I promise it won’t.”

Janis looks into Cady’s eyes and forces herself to say, “I like you. Like, in a gay way.”

Cady’s eyes widen, and her mouth falls open a little. She doesn’t say anything, but she also doesn’t let go of Janis’s hand.

“I’m sorry if that’s weird,” Janis says quietly.

“I… Janis—I didn’t think—” Cady says, stumbling over her words. She shakes her head. “Can I kiss you?”

Janis blinks. “What?” she asks, certain she’s heard wrong.

“Please?” Cady adds.

Janis doesn’t need to be asked a third time. She places a hand on the back of Cady’s neck and kisses her, carefully, gently. 

Cady rises up on her toes to press closer, resting one hand on Janis’s cheek and wrapping the other arm around Janis’s waist.

“No regrets,” Cady whispers against Janis’s lips when they part.

“Wow, uh, okay,” Janis says, temporarily unable to access the part of her brain that forms sentences. 

“I like you too,” Cady says with a giggle that makes Janis smile reflexively. “In a gay way.”

“Cool,” Janis says, like an idiot.

“Grool,” Cady answers with a wink, tugging Janis back in the direction of the bonfire. “Come on, we don’t want to miss the marshmallows.”

Janis rolls her eyes, wondering how she happened to fall for the dorkiest person she’s ever met.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt meme: "Come cuddle" + "I'll keep you warm" + "Stay here tonight" + "Can't you stay a little longer?" Regina/Janis

Janis thought that she had Regina all figured out.

But then Regina found her a few days after Cady’s stunt at spring fling, apologized to her, and came out to her—and kind of knocked Janis’s life as she knew it off-kilter, just a little bit.

Relearning how to be friends with Regina is nothing like being friends with Regina in middle school.

Franky, Damian looks afraid to leave Janis alone with Regina half the time. Regina still has a lot of issues to unpack, but Janis is surprised to find she actually enjoys hanging out with her.

Getting to know each other again is sometimes made easier by alcohol, as it is on a bitterly cold December night in their senior year. They’re tipsy after Christmas shopping at the mall and a movie in Regina’s room, and Janis isn’t particularly looking forward to walking the half-mile home from Regina’s house.

Janis is starting to begrudgingly gather up her belongings when Regina catches her hand and asks, “Can’t you stay a little longer?”

Regina is wearing an oversized hoodie that makes her look small, almost fragile, and her eyes are wide and honest.

“I should get home before it starts to snow,” Janis says, although she finds that she doesn’t really want to.

“Stay here tonight,” Regina says softly. 

Janis considers the idea. She hasn’t slept over at Regina’s house since eighth grade.

“Only if you want to,” Regina adds, looking unsure. 

Janis looks out the window and sees the first snowflakes starting to fall.

“Okay,” Janis agrees. 

Regina’s face lights up and she grins. It kind of makes Janis’s stomach do a weird flip. 

“There’s a extra toothbrushes in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom,” Regina says, going over to her dresser. “I can give you pajamas.”

“Okay,” Janis says again, accepting the t-shirt and sweatpants Regina gives her. She thinks Regina looks nervous, just a little bit, but then Regina smiles again and it’s gone.

Janis brushes her teeth and changes her clothes in Regina’s obscenely pink bathroom, feeling a little nervous herself.

Regina is curled up in her bed when Janis returns. 

“I can sleep on the couch if you want me to,” Janis says, hesitating. 

Regina frowns. “Why would you do that?”

Janis shrugs, trying to think of a way to say  _you used to be wildly homophobic_  without making things awkward.

“Come cuddle,” she says, holding out her arms. 

Janis raises an eyebrow, wondering exactly how much Regina had to drink tonight, but carefully gets into Regina’s bed, making sure to leave plenty of space between them.

Regina immediately throws an arm around Janis, resting her head on Janis’s shoulder. Her hair tickles Janis’s chin, and Janis catches the scent of Regina’s shampoo.

“I’ll keep you warm,” Regina tells her. 

“I wasn’t cold,” Janis says, relaxing into Regina’s warmth despite her words.

After a minute, Regina huffs and takes Janis’s arm so it’s wrapped around her shoulders. 

Janis hopes Regina can’t feel the way her heart is pounding. 

“Good night,” Regina whispers, her breath tickling Janis’s collarbone.

“Night,” Janis murmurs. 

Janis stares at the ceiling as Regina’s breathing slows. Her last thought before she drifts off is that she could get used to falling asleep in Regina’s arms.

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Here, let me help you.” + “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.” Regina/Janis

Gretchen throws a party a week before school gets out.

Janis is surprised when she gets a text from Gretchen inviting her. 

Sure, they’ve all kind of been hanging out together since the spring fling dance, mostly at Cady’s insistence. But Janis is still surprised—pleasantly surprised.

Janis is also surprised to find that she genuinely likes Gretchen and Karen. She had always associated them with Regina—with the Regina that ruined her life, specifically. 

Things have been tense with Regina. She’s been very quiet ever since she came back to school after the bus accident. She avoids eye contact with Janis and hasn’t said more than three words to her in the last few weeks. 

The Regina that shuffles around the halls of North Shore, invisible if not for the spinal halo, is nearly unrecognizable from the Regina that Janis has known for the last three years.

Janis feels almost overwhelmed by all of the things that she wants to say to Regina. She wants to apologize, but she doesn’t really know how. She’s been waiting for Regina to do it first.

Janis wonders if Regina feels the same way.

When Janis walks into Gretchen’s kitchen and sees Regina, she almost turns around and heads back to the party in the backyard.

Then the cup that Regina is filling with soda slips through from her grasp and lands with a splash on the tile floor. 

Regina sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose for a moment before turning and grabbing the roll of paper towels off of the counter, starting to very awkwardly crouch down to wipe the floor, spinal halo preventing her from looking down.

“Here, let me help you,” Janis mutters, hurrying forward to take the paper towels from Regina’s hands. 

“Thanks,” Regina says quietly.

Janis takes a wad of paper towels and soaks up the soda before tossing them in the trash. She turns to leave, but Regina’s voice stops her.

“I wasn’t lying,” Regina says.

Janis turns around. “What?”

“I wasn’t lying,” Regina repeats, “when I said that I loved you.”

Janis stares at her in confusion, wondering just how much pain medication Regina has taken today.

“In eighth grade,” Regina clarifies. “When I told you I loved you and you told me you only liked me as a friend. I meant it.”

Janis remembers that day. They were in Janis’s living room watching a TV show when Regina turned to her out of the blue and told her she loved her. Janis had laughed at first, not thinking she was serious.

“So you decided to, what? Out me to the entire school? Is that how you treat the people you love?” Janis asks, voice low. She feels the urge to smack Regina across her stupid, sad face and twists her hand in the hem of her jacket instead.

“I’m sorry,” Regina tells her. “I didn’t handle it well.”

“You ruined my life.”

“I know.” Regina goes to look down at her feet but forgets she can’t and winces.

Janis remembers the image of Regina crumped on the pavement of the parking lot next to the bus and feels the anger slowly seep out of her.

“I’m sorry, too,” Janis says.

“You don’t have to be,” Regina responds.

“I know, but I am.” Janis carefully takes a step closer to Regina. “For trying to ruin your life, too, and for lying to you.”

Regina frowns. “Lying to me?”

“When I said I only liked you as a friend,” Janis admits. “I lied.”

Janis recalls Regina’s face when she had said that. She had looked crushed for a fleeting moment before saying that she didn’t feel well and nearly sprinting out of Janis’s house.

“Why?” Regina asks after a moment of silence.

“I was scared,” Janis says. 

“So was I.” Regina smiles at her sadly.

There’s a long moment of silence?

“And what about now?” Janis asks.

“What?” Regina says.

“How do you feel about me now?”

Janis kind of hates herself for asking, but—if she’s being completely honest with herself—there’s always been a part of her, deep down, that’s still a little bit in love with Regina George.

Regina’s eyes turn sad. “I tried so hard to make my feelings for you go away.”

“But they didn’t?” Janis asks.

“No,” Regina tells her softly. “I tried to make myself like other people—to like boys, but… it’s always been you.”

Janis realizes her hands are shaking and she tucks them in her pockets.

“You ruined my life,” Janis reminds her.

“Yeah,” Regina says, looking away.

“And I don’t forgive you,” Janis says.

“I know.”

“But maybe… I don’t hate you anymore,” Janis admits.

Regina smiles at her. “I’ll take that.”

Janis is surprised to find herself smiling back.

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this okay?” + "You have no idea how much I want you right now." Regina/Cady

Senior year is a lot of things Cady never expected.

For one thing, she isn’t dating Aaron Samuels anymore. The long distance, coupled with Aaron’s college coursework and sports practices, just wasn’t working for them.

For another thing, Cady  _is_  dating Regina George.

Regina gets drunk one night and admits that the real reason she got back together with Aaron was to make Cady jealous. (Cady concedes that it kind of worked.)

The surprises don’t end there. 

The Regina Cady knew their junior year was cold and harsh, a Barbie doll that was rough around the edges.

She still is that way, sometimes—if someone makes a passing snide comment to Cady, Regina has no problem reminding them why she had the entire school under her heel for two and a half years. When she holds Cady’s hand in the hallway, she glares at anyone who looks at them twice.

But in private, Regina is careful, gentle—almost hesitant. She asks for consent religiously, seeming uncharacteristically nervous.

They’re on Cady’s living room couch one Tuesday afternoon. Cady’s parents aren’t home—teaching afternoon classes at Northwestern—and Cady is supposed to be helping Regina with her calculus homework.

Unsurprisingly, that’s not what they’re doing.

Regina is kissing Cady sweetly, hands resting on Cady’s hips with her thumbs just barely edging underneath Cady’s shirt.

“Is this okay?” Regina whispers against Cady’s lips.

Cady pulls back a little. “Why do you ask me that so much? I’m not going to break, you know.”

She ends it with a soft laugh, but Regina’s expression shifts, muscles tensing. Her thumbs, which had been lazily stroking back and forth, stop moving.

“Sorry,” Regina says shortly, looking away.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Cady asks, confused by Regina’s change in mood.

Regina shrugs. “Nothing.”

Cady sighs. This is one of the challenges with Regina: she’s deeply self-conscious but loathe to ever admit it, so it often takes very careful prodding to get to the real reasons behind some of her behavior. It’s a quid pro quo, almost—if Cady admits to some of her insecurities, sometimes Regina will more readily admit to hers.

“Are you afraid you’re going to hurt me?” Cady asks, pushing a stray lock of hair out of Regina’s face. “I know I’m kind of inexperienced, but…” She trails off, blushing. “You don’t have to worry.”

Regina’s face softens. “No, I know. I just—” She turns back to Cady. “I don’t actually know what I’m doing.”

Cady frowns. “What do you mean?”

Regina waves a hand vaguely. “I haven’t done this before. With a girl, I mean. I don’t want to screw this up, or have it be bad for you, or…” She stops, face red but eyes honest.

“Regina,” Cady says, resting a hand against Regina’s cheek, “you have no idea how much I want you right now.”

Regina’s eyes widen, just a little.

“It’s not like I’ve done this before, either,” Cady reminds her. “So we’re going to figure this out together, okay?”

Regina finally smiles, the tension seeping out of her shoulders. “Okay,” she says.

“Now kiss me like you mean it,” Cady instructs.

Regina obliges with a soft giggle.

It’s kind of Cady’s favorite sound.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You never asked.” Janis/Regina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mention of attempted suicide.

Transitioning from having followers to having actual friends is a strange experience for Regina.

She’s so used to people doing whatever she says, hanging on her every word, and following her around the school, offering to hold her bag or get her coffee.

But even if Regina could go back to the way things were junior year, she wouldn’t. 

She finds, actually, that she really enjoys having real friends again.

Regina has reconciled with Cady, Gretchen, and Karen, and has been growing closer with Damian. Things with Janis are a little touch and go; neither one of them really knows how to bridge the gap that’s formed between them in the last four years.

Regina finds that she wants to become friends with Janis again.

The problem is that she doesn’t know exactly what Janis wants.

Regina starts going out of her way to show that she’s interested in and cares about Janis as a person. Janis seems to be responding positively, if not tentatively.

During their shared free period, Regina perches on a stool in the art studio watching Janis put the finishing touches on a painting.

The tip of Janis’s tongue pokes out of the corner of her mouth as she works, a smudge of purple paint drying on her cheek.

It’s actually kind of cute.

“Aaaand… done!” Janis says, putting down her paintbrush and stepping back.

Regina hops off the stool to take a closer look.

“Wow,” Regina says with a smile, “looks like all of that art therapy paid off.”

She means it as a joke, but Janis’s expression darkens immediately and she tosses her paintbrush down.

“Fuck you, Regina,” Janis mutters, stalking over to the sinks.

Regina realizes that she has said probably the worst possible thing and hurries after Janis to do some damage control.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Regina says, wringing her hands. “I meant it as a joke.”

Janis looks at her, emotion swirling in her eyes. “Ruining my life is funny to you?”

“No, no,” Regina backpedals. “It definitely wasn’t funny. I’m sorry.”

“You know I tried to kill myself, right?” Janis asks, voice low. “That’s why I had to do art therapy.”

Regina feels suddenly sick, vision blurring for a moment.

“Janis, I had no idea,” she says, grasping onto the edge of the sink just to have something solid to lean on. “Oh my God. Jesus, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked,” Janis says simply.

“I’m so sorry,” Regina says, feeling like a broken record. 

“I know,” Janis replies, staring at her feet.

A beat of silence passes.

“I’m just gonna go,” Regina mutters, turning to grab her bag.

Janis’s hand catches her arm. “You can stay,” she says softly. “If you want.”

“Really?” Regina asks hesitantly. “Because if you want me to leave you alone, I understand.”

“I’ve spent a long time hating you,” Janis says. “But I don’t want to anymore. I know you’re not that person anymore, but I still need some time to make peace with it.”

Regina smiles sadly. “I get it.”

Janis moves the hand that’s still holding Regina’s arm and squeezes her hand for a second before turning to the sink to wash off her brushes and palette. 

“You’re okay now though, right?” Regina asks quietly.

Janis lets out a soft laugh. “Yeah, I’m doing okay now.”

“Good,” Regina says, more to herself than to Janis. She studies Janis’s profile as she washes the brushes, her eyes tracing the slope of her nose and the lock of hair that’s stuck to the drying paint.

Regina has a fleeting thought that Janis is incredibly beautiful, a thought that she hasn’t let herself have since she was in eighth grade.

“Don’t just stand there. Bring me the rest of my brushes,” Janis instructs with a soft smile to show her demands are in jest, starting Regina out of her reverie.

It makes Regina’s stomach do a weird flip.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request for something similar to the Very Gay Dancing between Cady and Janis in "Stop" + Janis/Cady admitting their feelings for each other

There are several things about Cady’s new friends that she finds flat-out confusing.

For one thing, she’ll never get why on Earth girls voluntarily walk around in three-inch heels. They’re uncomfortable and rub the back of Cady’s ankles raw, but she teeters after the Plastics in those dumb suede heels until she stops tripping in them.

Janis doesn’t wear heels. She wears sneakers and combat boots. Cady knows she owns one pair of heels, hidden deep in the back of her closet, left over from some cousin’s bar mitzvah that she was forced to attend.

For another thing, the Plastics are physically distant from one another. Sometimes Gretchen and Karen hold hands walking down the hall, and Regina has taken Cady’s hand once or twice, but Cady doesn’t think she’s ever seen them even hug, not counting the awkward apology hug Gretchen gave her on Regina’s behalf.

Cady doesn’t think she’s gone a single day without hugging Janis. Janis holds her close while they watch movies, or dances around the room with her as Damian belts out his favorite showtunes, or rests her head on Cady’s shoulder in the car. 

Cady tried hugging Regina once, actually. Regina went still, awkwardly holding her arms by her sides until Cady let go, confusion and something almost akin to panic in her eyes.

Cady never tried that again.

It’s a strange dichotomy, but sometimes when Cady is wrapped up in Janis’s arms she understands what Regina seemed to be so afraid of.

Cady likes Janis… a lot. And she’s not entirely sure what to do about it. If hanging around Regina has taught her anything, it’s that liking girls makes things harder.

Janis dances around the subject of her own sexuality, clapping a hand over Damian’s mouth when he nears divulging too much, masking the insecurity Cady can see in her eyes with sarcasm and deflection.

One day Cady is sitting in math class and realizes she hasn’t really thought about Aaron Samuels in weeks. She almost laughs.

Actually, she does laugh. Aaron turns around and looks at her strangely and she sinks down lower in her seat.

She stares at the back of Aaron’s head during the rest of calculus and daydreams about kissing Janis.

* * *

Cady finds Janis in the art room with Damian later that week, some showtune playing on Damian’s laptop in the background.

Janis puts her paintbrush down when she sees Cady, reaching out and taking Cady’s hand to spin her around.

Cady laughs and complies, twirling into Janis so their bodies are flush with each other, Janis’s arms wrapped around her, their faces inches apart if Cady turns her head.

Janis smells like acrylic paint and patchouli perfume.

They sway back and forth as Damian pretends to tap dance to the music. Cady can’t help but notice that she’d only need to turn her head slightly to kiss Janis on the lips.

Feeling intoxicated from the paint and perfume and warmth of Janis’s body, Cady does a stupid thing: she leans in and presses a soft kiss to Janis’s lips.

Janis freezes.

Damian stops dancing.

Cady’s eyes go wide. She suddenly feels like her stomach is going to fall out of her butt.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so—” she starts to backpedal.

Then Damian starts shouting.

“I told you so!” he yells. “I called it! I fucking called it!”

“Will you shut up?” Janis hisses back.

Cady stands there, utterly confused.

“Sorry,” Damian says, noticing Cady’s bewildered expression. “I told Janis that you liked her back, but she wouldn’t believe me.”

“Damian!” Janis hisses. 

“Wait,” Cady says, shaking her head, “what do you mean  _likes her back_?”

Damian looks at Janis, raising his eyebrows.

“I might,” Janis starts hesitantly, “like you. A little bit.”

“Always the romantic,” Damian mutters sardonically under his breath. Janis shoots him a look.

“Really?” Cady asks, feeling a pleasant buzzing in her stomach. 

“Really,” Janis says with a soft smile.

“I like you too,” Cady says, blushing. “More than a little bit.”

“Yeah, me too,” Janis admits.

They stare at each other for a moment. Cady realizes Janis still has an arm around her.

It feels  _right_.

“Can I kiss you for real?” Cady asks quietly, hopefully.

“Yes,” Janis says breathlessly. 

Cady is vaguely aware of Damian fleeing the room as she leans in, feeling an electric current course through her veins.

The last thought Cady has before the bell rings is that she could get used to spending every day in Janis’s arms. 

The thought kind of terrifies her, but she feels safest standing next to Janis.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When everything goes down Cady realizes she cares more about losing Janis than Aaron and realizes she has feelings for her + Cady and Janis admitting their feelings for each other

Cady watches Janis and Damian disappear down the street.

She doesn’t know how long she stands there, but when she comes back to reality, there’s a sharp sting in her feet. Cady looks down and realizes she isn’t wearing shoes.

Gingerly, Cady walks back into her house, bypassing the disaster that is the living room and heading straight up to her room. She takes off her dress and puts on an oversized t-shirt before crawling into her bed, pulling the covers up to her chin and trying not to cry.

She rolls over and comes face-to-face with Janis’s painting. The knot in her stomach tightens, and she rolls the other way to face the wall.

Every time Cady closes her eyes, she sees a snapshot of Janis’s face immediately after Cady accused her of being in love with her, the shock and hurt swirling in her eyes. 

Cady’s chest hurts, like someone reached inside of her and squeezed. She wishes she could take it all back. She wishes she could give Janis a hug. She wishes she could tell Janis how beautiful her painting is.

Finally, Cady grabs her phone and flips through photos of herself and Janis smiling and laughing, just to try and rid her brain of the image of her friend’s heartbroken expression.

Her phone buzzes with a text, startling her. 

 **Gretch:** Did you talk to Aaron?

Cady frowns at her screen.  _Aaron? What about hi—_

 _Oh._ Right.

Cady looks over at the framed photo of herself riding an elephant and remembers the way Aaron had held it up to her as he chewed her out.

 **Cady:**  No, he wouldn’t stop to talk.

She sends the text with a roll of her eyes and goes back to fantasizing about a world where she didn’t royally fuck up the most important relationship in her life.

Cady sits bolt upright in bed, eyes wide.

She likes Janis. She likes Janis more than she likes Aaron.

Everything suddenly seems so clear: why she agreed to spy on the Plastics, why she went along with the revenge plan, why she was never as excited to go to calculus as she was to go to French class, why actively decided to exclude Janis to a party where she was supposed to be hooking up with Aaron.

Before she can really think about what she’s doing, Cady throws on a pair of sweatpants and jams her feet into her Ugg boots (a birthday gift from Regina) and running out the door, only pausing to grab a jacket and the painting.

Cady runs down the block and then slows to a walk, heading over to Janis’s neighborhood. She’s thankful Janis lives close by. She’s still a bit tipsy and doesn’t need to add an arrest for driving under the influence to the list of things that are going wrong in her life.

Cady stops at the front door and realizes that it’s nearly midnight. How is she supposed to explain her visit to Janis’s parents?

Then she realizes that, if Janis’s parents  _were_  home, they definitely would have driven her to and from her art show. That’s probably why it was so important to Janis that Cady attended. 

Cady wracks her brain for any time that Janis would have mentioned that her parents were away and realizes how deeply self-absorbed she’s been.

Suddenly, the door opens.

Cady jumps and lets out a startled yelp. 

Janis frowns at her, looking from Cady’s face to the painting. “Why are you at my house?”

Cady feels frozen to her spot, realizing that she’s totally unprepared for this interaction.

After a long moment of silence Janis scoffs and starts to close the door.

“Wait,” Cady says, holding a hand out to keep Janis from closing it. “I’m really sorry.”

Janis raises an eyebrow and doesn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry for what I said. And for not inviting you. It was really mean and I didn’t think about how much it would hurt you,” Cady tells her. “I was just frustrated with myself and how the night went. I really value you as a friend and I understand if you don’t want to talk to me again, but I just want you to know I’m sorry.” She holds out the painting. “I thought you might want this back. It’s really beautiful.”

“I don’t want it,” Janis says, tone and face carefully neutral.

“Okay,” Cady says sadly, holding the painting to her chest. “Sorry.”

“I want you to have it,” Janis tells her. “I made it for you.”

“Oh.” Cady starts to shiver in the cold March air, the sweat that had built up while she ran over to Janis’s house cooling against her skin.

Janis notices Cady trembling and frowns, stepping back to open the door wider. “Here, come in,” she says.

“Thank you,” Cady breathes, setting the painting down by the door so she can stick her freezing hands in her pockets. 

“Thanks for apologizing,” Janis says quietly. “I’m not exactly innocent in all this, either. Sorry if I ruined your night with Aaron, or whatever.”

Cady scrunches her nose. “I don’t care about him.”

Janis looks at her, confused. “What?”

Cady realizes what she’s just said and starts talking without thinking. “I mean, um. Well, I—uh, what I mean is that—I don’t—”

“Cady,” Janis says seriously, placing her hands on Cady’s shoulders for a moment, “relax.” 

Cady takes a breath. “I realized that I cared more about losing you than I did about losing him,” she admits quietly. “And that I—”

She pauses, looking at the painting. 

“Yes?” Janis prompts, a little breathlessly.

Cady looks back at her and sees a flash of something hopeful in her eyes.

“And that I like you,” Cady finishes. “A lot.”

Janis takes a step back. “Cady,” she says, voice tight and harsh, “don’t say something you don’t mean.” 

“I do mean it,” Cady says, frowning. 

“What about Aaron?” Janis asks. Her arms are crossed and her expression is guarded.

“When I moved here, people kept asking me if I had seen any boys I thought were cute, or if I liked any boys,” Cady explains. “So I picked one, and then everything became about getting Aaron and taking down Regina to do it that I got so caught up in it that I didn’t realize that the person who I really wanted to impress was you.”

Cady stares at her feet as the seconds of silence stretch on, feeling a knot of dread tighten in her stomach. 

“Janis, please say some— _oof_.”

The air is nearly knocked from Cady’s lungs as Janis tackle-hugs her, letting out a soft giggle that makes Cady grin.

Janis takes Cady’s face in her hands and looks down at her with adoring eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” Janis whispers, her breath tickling Cady’s face.

Cady feels her heart beat faster as she nods.

It’s a brief, sweet kiss, Janis’s lips impossibly soft against her own, a sharp contrast to the roughness of Aaron’s lips. 

Cady’s hands are shaking when Janis pulls away.

“I’m going to assume you like me back?” Cady says, surprised by the low tone of her voice.

“I actually hate you and would like you to leave,” Janis says, trying and failing to appear serious as a smile cracks her expression.

“That’s fair,” Cady says. “But first…”

She pulls Janis back into her and thinks of nothing besides the pleasant buzzing in her head and the warmth that spreads throughout her body.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” + Regina/Janis

Janis wakes up to a shadowed figure standing over her and opens her mouth to scream.

“Shhh!” the person hisses, clapping a hand over Janis’s mouth. “You’ll wake up you parents.”

Janis blinks as her eyes adjust to the darkness. 

“Regina?” she asks incredulously. 

“Who else would it be?” Regina huffs. Her blond hair is illuminated in the soft moonlight creeping in Janis’s bedroom window. It almost looks like she has a halo.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Janis says sarcastically. “Someone trying to kill me, maybe? How did you even get in here?”

“It’s not my fault your parents leave your front door unlocked,” Regina hisses.

Janis presses the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Not that it isn’t lovely to see you, but why are you here?”

Regina hesitates before whispering, “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“You broke into my house because you had a nightmare?” Janis repeats.

It’s the wrong thing to say because Regina crosses her arms and looks away. “Never mind,” she mutters.

Janis softens, scooting over on the bed so there’s room for Regina. 

“I’m sorry,” Janis says, patting the empty space. 

Regina looks at her for a long moment before getting into the bed and hugging Janis close. She’s trembling just a little, and she smells like floral shampoo and her vanilla lotion, and her hair is soft on Janis’s skin.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Janis offers.

Regina is quiet for awhile. “It was about eighth grade,” she finally says. Her voice is strained like the words are causing her pain. “When I called you a lesbian. I was making fun of you and when you tried to run away you got hit by a bus.”

“Oh,” Janis says, because she doesn’t know what else to say. Regina has apologized to her profusely, but it’s still a terrible memory.

Regina props herself on her elbows to look at Janis with wide, alarmed eyes. “You know I’m sorry, right? I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” Janis says, sighing. “I’m right here. I’m okay. I haven’t been hit by a bus.”

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” Regina whispers, relaxing a little bit. “And for breaking into your house.”

“That’s okay,” Janis says. “But maybe next time call first.”

Regina just mutters something unintelligible and falls asleep on Janis’s shoulder.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss + fluff - Regina/Janis

“No.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“I’m not doing it.”

“Come  _on_ ,” Janis says frustratedly. “We drove  _three towns_  over to avoid seeing anybody we knew and you’re just gonna refuse to skate?”

Regina crosses her arms and looks away.

Janis sighs exasperatedly and gingerly steps off the ice, stomping her feet as much as she can without toppling over in her skates.

“Whatever,” she mutters. “Let’s go home.”

“I just—” Regina’s eyes follow a kid on hockey skates easily weaving in and out of the people on the rink. “That kid is better at skating than I am.”

Janis stares at her. “And?”

“That  _child_  can skate better than I can,” Regina repeats, so quietly it’s almost a whisper. She looks down at her feet, frowning.

Regina is frustratingly bad at communication. Plastic Regina never said what she meant; every phrase had a double meaning. Sometimes Regina says things that seem irrelevant to the situation at hand, and Janis has to carefully peel back her defensive layers to understand what she truly means. 

“Okay,” Janis says, more gently this time. “What does that have to do you with you not wanting to skate?”

“I don’t really know how to skate,” Regina finally admits, still looking down. “I’ll look stupid.”

Another thing about Regina: she’s painfully insecure. She doesn’t like doing anything she isn’t good at. She was the same way in middle school, but it seems to have intensified under the microscope of high school.

“Wait, is this why you made me drive all the way out here?” Janis asks. “I thought you just didn’t want people seeing us together.”

Regina’s eyes flash with something—guilt, maybe, or regret—but she blinks it away and nods.

“I’m not that good at skating, either,” Janis says.

Regina rolls her eyes. “Stop. I know you can skate fine.”

Janis decides she’s done arguing.

“Come on,” Janis says, taking Regina by the hand and leading her to the ice. “You’re learning how to skate today.”

Regina makes a noise of irritation but very carefully steps onto the ice, holding onto Janis so tightly her knuckles turn white.

They manage to shuffle around the rink a few times, a frown of concentration on Regina’s face. The lights illuminating the outdoor rink on her blond hair make her look almost like she’s glowing.

“Do you think you could do it without holding onto me?” Janis asks.

Regina gives her a panicked look. “What if I fall and hit my head and die?”

“You literally got hit by a bus and lived,” Janis says. “Stop being so dramatic. I’ll be right here the whole time.”

“Fine,” Regina grumbles.

Janis pries Regina’s fingers off of her arms and watches as Regina shuffles a few awkward steps. She gets a little more confident with every second that she doesn’t fall, her shuffles turning into more elementary gliding steps.

“You’re doing great!” Janis cheers as Regina picks up a little speed (not a lot, but an elderly person probably couldn’t catch her). 

Regina looks up and grins at Janis, cheeks red from the cold. Janis grins back reflexively, feeling the flutter of butterflies in her stomach.

Janis holds her arms out to catch Regina before they hit the end of the rink, and Regina glides right into her arms.

“You did it!” Janis says, their faces so close she can feel Regina’s breath on her face.

Regina laughs breathlessly and, before Janis can realize what’s happening, places a hand on Janis’s cheek and presses their lips together.

It’s brief, and tentative, and when Regina pulls back Janis’s lips feel sticky with Regina’s lip gloss.

Janis blinks. “You kissed me,” she says dumbly.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Regina looks at her shyly, the hand that was on Janis’s cheek dropping to her shoulder. “Is that… okay?”

Janis doesn’t answer immediately, wiping the lip gloss off of her tingling lips.

“It’s okay if it isn’t,” Regina starts backpedaling. “I’m sorry, I just—” 

Janis leans in and kisses her again to stop her rambling.

“It’s more than okay,” Janis assures her, taking her hand and lacing their fingers together. “Let’s skate.”

Regina giggles— _giggles_ —and carefully follows suit.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m flirting with you.” + Cady/Regina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 kept giving me an error message every time I tried to post this and I finally figured out it's because AO3 hates emojis, not me. So sorry for the lack of actual emojis.

Regina has never had a problem getting guys.

She tosses her hair; they fall at her feet. She gives them one look; they offer her whatever she wants. 

Girls, though… Regina hasn’t quite mastered.

Not helping the situation is the fact that Cady Heron is the most oblivious person alive.

Regina checks her lip gloss in her phone’s camera before she heads over and leans against the lockers next to Cady’s. 

“Hi,” Cady says, piling textbooks into her arms. 

“Hey,” Regina says, reaching out to take the biggest book.

“Thanks.” Cady beams at her and Regina feels herself grin back, heart skipping a beat.

Stupid, stupid crush.

“You look cute,” Regina says as they walk down the hall towards Cady’s next class. “Is that a new shirt?”

(It’s a lie. Cady’s fallen back into wearing those stupid plaid shirts. Regina’s just grateful she isn’t wearing socks with sandals.)

“No, I think I wore this one last week,” Cady answers, absently scrolling through her text messages with her free hand.

“Oh. Well… did you do something different with your hair?” Regina asks, moving a little closer to Cady so their shoulders brush every few steps.

“I mean, I brushed it,” Cady says with a shrug, stopping outside of her history class. She takes the book out of Regina’s hands. “Thanks again.”

“Sure, anytime,” Regina calls after her.

* * *

                                                           **5:47 pm**

 **Regina George:**  hey, do you want to do something this weekend?

 **Cady Heron:**  sure!!!

 **Regina George:**  great, there’s a cute sushi place in the center of town. we could see a movie after? [pink sparkle heart emoji]

 **Cady Heron:**  i’ll invite gretchen and karen and damian?

                                                          **9:13 pm**

 **Regina George:**  cool.

* * *

“Well that was fun,” Cady says as Regina pulls into Cady’s driveway that Saturday after the movie.

“Yeah,” Regina says through gritted teeth. At least she got to sit next to Cady at the movie, she supposes.

Regina takes off her seatbelt and opens the door of her car.

“What are you doing?” Cady asks, doing the same.

“Walking you to your door,” Regina says, resisting the urge to add  _duh_.

“You don’t have to do that,” Cady says.

Regina ignores her.

They stand awkwardly looking at each other outside of Cady’s front door for a moment. Then Cady leans in and gives her a hug.

Regina hugs her back, hoping Cady can’t feel how hard her heart is beating.

“See you on Monday,” Cady says before heading inside. 

Regina sits in her car for a few minutes before turning it on, the scent of Cady’s perfume still lingering in the air.

* * *

“It can’t be that bad,” Gretchen says, rubbing Regina’s back.

“It’s like trying to flirt with a wall,” Regina mutters, dropping her fork back down on her uneaten salad, “except the wall is wearing Birkenstocks and keeps changing the subject to lions.”

“Maybe she just doesn’t like you,” Damian says, tapping at his phone.

“How could you say that?” Regina and Gretchen shout at him. 

A few people turn their heads to look at them, but look away quickly when Regina glares at them.

“Regina, sweetie,” Damian says, putting his phone down, “we all love Cady, but she’s the most romantically inept person I’ve ever met. You kind of need to knock her over the head with these things.”

Regina shushes him as Cady approaches their table, lunch bag in hand.

“How do I look?” Regina whispers to Karen. She hates how insecure she sounds.

Karen gives her a once-over and pulls Regina’s shirt down another couple of inches to reveal her cleavage.

“Perfect,” Karen says definitively. 

“Hey guys,” Cady says, sitting down across from Regina.

“Hi,” Regina says, batting her eyelashes and tossing her hair over her shoulder. “You look pretty.” 

“Thanks,” Cady replies with a smile.

“So I’m taking calculus this year,” Regina says to Cady, “and I’m a little lost. Do you think we could study after school?”

Regina crosses her fingers under the table, hoping Cady will at least recognize  _this_  as flirting.

“Sure,” Cady says. “You can come to the mathletes meeting and Kevin and I can help y—”

“Dammit, Cady,” Regina nearly shouts, slapping her palms to the table. “I’m flirting with you!”

Cady jumps, looking startled before her expression morphs into confusion. 

“You’re what?” she asks dumbly. 

Regina can feel Gretchen, Karen, and Damian’s stares and doesn’t have to look at her friends to know they’re disappointed in her for snapping.

“Sorry,” Regina says quietly, avoiding eye contact. 

“Did you were flirting with me?” Cady asks. 

“Yes,” Regina answers, feeling her cheeks redden. “I’ve been trying for weeks now.”

“Oh.  _Oh_ ,” Cady says. “Why?”

“Because I like you,” Regina says slowly.  _Do I need to say it in Swahili?_  she thinks, but doesn’t voice it.

Realization dawns on Cady’s face. 

“So all those times you called me cute and asked me to hang out and used a bunch of heart emojis—”

“Yeah,” Regina cuts Cady off when she hears Gretchen giggle next to her. 

“I’m sorry, I thought you were just trying to be nice,” Cady says, and Regina’s heart sinks, sure she’s about to be rejected. 

“You should’ve just asked me out on a date,” Cady tells her, touching Regina’s hand.

Regina snaps her gaze to Cady’s. “What?” she asks, not trusting her ears.

“Oh my God, just ask her out already,” Damian interjects exasperatedly, muttering something that sounds like “useless lesbian” under his breath. Regina considers digging her stiletto heel into his shin.

“Will you… go on a date with me?” Regina asks cautiously. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Cady says, grinning. 

Regina grins back stupidly.

Out of the corner of her eye, Regina sees Gretchen holding up her phone.

“What are you doing?” Regina asks, frowning.

“Nothing,” Gretchen says quickly, holding her phone against her chest protectively.

“Are you streaming live on Instagram?” Regina asks, staring Gretchen down.

“No?” Gretchen tries. 

"Are you fucking serious?” Regina moves to grab the phone, but Gretchen holds it out of her reach. “Give me that or I swear to God I’ll—”

“Regina,” Cady says, grabbing her hand. “Relax. It’s fine.”

Regina looks between Cady and Gretchen before grumbling, “Fine.”

Cady smiles at her, and suddenly Regina forgets all about Gretchen and her stupid Instagram addiction. 


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rejanis doing Christmas activities together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Janis stresses Regina out, a three-part mini opera.

**Part I.**

“ _What_  is that?”

Janis shrugs. “It’s abstract.”

“Janis, I spent  _all day_ yesterday baking this,” Regina says, surveying the garish decorations on the gingerbread house with a grim expression. 

The roof and walls of the house are covered in different colors of frosting with various candies haphazardly stuck on. It looks like the gingerbread houses Regina’s sister Kylie would make before she was old enough to understand complimentary color schemes.

“The gingerbread house is displayed in the center of the dining room table at the George family Christmas party,” Regina says, like she hasn’t told Janis this approximately eighteen times already.

“So?” Janis asks, popping a gumdrop in her mouth. “That’s why you made your own.”

Regina looks at her own gingerbread house where it sits on the other end of the table to dry and allows herself a small smile, admiring the elaborate piping.

“It’s the principle of it, Janis.”

Janis just laughs and reaches for more licorice. 

“What’s this?” Regina asks, pointing to a few gingerbread men surrounding a gummy bear covered in a red-frosted pentagram.

“Animal sacrifice,” Janis says.

“ _Janis_!” Regina reaches for the jar of frosting in Janis’s hand. 

“I will not be censored!” Janis shouts, jumping up to hold it out of Regina’s reach—

—and in the process bumping the table so hard that the roof of Regina’s gingerbread house collapses, ruining the careful piping.

Regina watches it crumple, eyes wide with horror.

“I hope your guests like the occult?” Janis says, carefully moving the plastic knives out of Regina’s reach.

* * *

**Part II.**

“It’s not  _that_  bad,” Janis comments.

Regina looks at the snowman they’ve built in the park near Janis’s house. Its body is listing slightly to one side, and its head is lumpy. Still, it’s endearing, and Regina is oddly proud of it.

“Could be worse,” Regina agrees, smiling at Janis.

Janis’s cheeks are red from the cold, the blond tips of her hair peeking out from underneath her knit hat. Regina finds herself thinking that Janis is adorable, and marvels at how far they’ve come.

Regina notices one of their snowman’s eyes drooping, and goes to fix it.

She jumps when she feels a snowball hit her back. 

“Hey!” Regina complains, whirling around.

Janis just laughs and reaches down to grab more snow, lobbing another one that barely misses Regina’s head.

“You’re asking for it now,” Regina mutters, quickly forming a snowball in her mittened hands. 

She throws it as hard as she can and hits Janis in the knee. 

“Ow!” Janis says dramatically.

“You’re fine,” Regina says, running to dodge the handful of snow Janis throws in her direction. 

Another snowball hits her in the back of the neck. She shivers as the cold snow seeps into her scarf. 

“Oh, that’s it!” Regina says, hastily forming a snowball and throwing it as hard as she can at Janis.

Janis ducks, and the snowball sails over her head and into the door of a parked car, setting off its alarm.

“Oh shit,” Regina says, grabbing Janis’s arm and fleeing the scene of the crime.

Janis laughs the entire way back to her house. 

* * *

**Part III.**

Regina pulls the cookie tray out of the oven and huffs frustratedly. 

“Janis, what did you do?” she asks, setting down the tray of charred, brittle cookies.

“Why do you always assume it’s my fault?” Janis asks from the kitchen table, where she’s eating handfuls of chocolate chips.

“Uh, because you said, and I quote,  _I don’t need a recipe, I got this_ ,” Regina says, holding up her fingers in air quotes.

Janis stands up and examines the cookies. “Oops,” she says with a shrug.

“ _Oops_?” Regina repeats. “I can’t send Kylie to the party with these and now we’re out of butter and it’s almost midnight and—”

“Regina,” Janis says, placing her hands on Regina’s shoulders and kissing her nose gently. “Chill out. We’ll just go to the grocery store and get some frozen cookie dough.”

Regina clutches her chest. “Frozen cookie dough?”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Janis says, digging through her bag for her car keys. “Nobody will know the difference.”

“There’s a foot of snow on the ground,” Regina reminds her. 

Janis looks out the window, where the snow is still accumulating.

“I like a challenge,” she says.

Regina wonders if she’ll even make it to Christmas. 


End file.
